Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait five years for a rink to open in my town, two weeks for my lessons to begin, but only ten minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I bought some roller skates to go with the set my daughter got for her birthday. I haven’t skated since I was a kid, but I figured it was like riding a bike and I couldn’t have forgotten altogether. My broken coccyx disagrees. FML
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
The circle of life is a vicious one. Take heed, wear protection.
yourlifesfucked 0
from experience: you can NOT wear protection for your tailbone. I'm a hockey player and an excellent skater and even i have hit my tailbone a few times. even if she were wearing hockey pants they dont afford any real protection. FYL op that hurts like hell.
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Comments (121)
FernandoTorres_fml 0
The circle of life is a vicious one. Take heed, wear protection.
realggirl 0
i agree.
epoh_fml 0
I agree also.
Freeze_fml 17
Applicable in other "situations".
AngryNinja 1
i'm impressed with your dirty reference to protection, freeze. xD
jamieeeee 0
agreed haha
yourlifesfucked 0
from experience: you can NOT wear protection for your tailbone. I'm a hockey player and an excellent skater and even i have hit my tailbone a few times. even if she were wearing hockey pants they dont afford any real protection. FYL op that hurts like hell.
nates0210 0
want me to sign your cast?
aznbitch 0
imm an ice skater but imm stoppin for a little while to work on my dancing becayse im trying out for a varsity dance/cheer team. so sorry that you had to wait *that* long.
helo2 0
lmao angry ninja
jossiegregg 5
that's the answer to everything isn't it?
nmsm 1
@43 A butt cast?
magicmanalex 0
yup #1 is right get ur shit together lol
Lex2010 0
hahahah that is soooooo funny but unlucky
thatonekid2010 0
I like eggs
aricTB 0
#69 may have a point lol
MissyWissyKach 0
shouldn't your instructor tell you what to wear? and if you don't have it they make u buy it. There are these pants for all ages that have a cushioning on the tush you really need to get informed YDI for being stupid and this is a total fake FML
theschweigert 0
37, you are a wise man, people on this site do not know what they are talking about.
wmage 0
There is padding designed for figure skaters that offers some protection, if one knows how to fall. It's a bit of a tradeoff, however, between looking ridiculous and not offering much protection; I wore very thin padding that kept repeated falls from being too painful, but wasn't terribly visible (being a guy in trousers helped), whereas a number of others wore thick pads that made them look completely absurd.
nolasaints 0
boo hoo! wow what did you expect on your first time?
youandme4ever_fml 0
I have to pee
Cjw1220 0
I love how #69 made a sex reference. Hahaha. Sex.
lolsan 0
The first time I'd ever gone ice skating was less than a year ago.... And I fell once the entire afternoon. don't be a spastic.
helo2 0
Rolf.
MadaZer0 8
Looks like someone got their ass handed to them on a silver plate of chocolate devils cake filled with banana cream from a donkey riding an elephant under the water as it slowly loses oxygen and begs for help from Saten himself but would later regret asking help from the devil because the price needed to pay for help would have been the unborn daughter of his wifes grandmother father who was at the time a clown giving away free bjs at circuses near you... Juliet then dies and the play was over... The end.
babybubz 0
LMAO ..I forgot to breathe reading that.. and I didn't even read it out loud >.>
lolsan 0
Its also a noun- referring to 'mentally handicapped'. I don't live in your country. I'll rephrase, I fell once after a few hours of skating. And then kept skating. It wasn't that hard to avoid hurting yourself.
OBCD_fml 0
lol weird how just went ice skating today, but hey look to the future no pain no gain
MadaZer0 8
Just call me Mad... James Mad... Wait... Just Mad will do o.O
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Sometimes life just feels like being the world's biggest bitch and does that to people :[ I'm sorry, OP.
elledubb 0
your picture scares me.. zombieland referance- if I see you I will doubletap! ahhhhhhhh...
ImaginaryFoe 1
LOL @ doubletap but Tara's a cutie! Lay off
Ajjas013 6
More creepy internet zombies. BACK OFF! *Swings... Potato* Leave Tara alone! Shit, where's Dickcheney when you need him?
MadaZer0 8
Yup she is very cute... I would hug her so hard that she would die from me crushing her little innocent body... Even after that I would continue to hug her motionless body :D ... Why am I having the slight sense of dejavu~
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Because that's been said before :) Also, I didn't know you were into necrophilia. Me likes.
MadaZer0 8
Oh right... I did say that to you already... Man in getting losing my sense in jokes... Just like sexy cow... I mean Adjass... You know... I can never spell his name right so I'll stick with sexy cow... Necrophilia??? How bout Pedophilia!!!!
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Pedophilia? Me also likes :]
MadaZer0 8
For a thirteen year old... You seem to be lacking innocence but make it up with all that naughty talking... Oh shit... I am a pedo :O
MermaidSongXOXO 6
lol I actually am quite innocent in real life :) But, it's fun to be somebody I'm not when I'm online.
MadaZer0 8
Ain't that the truth~
albinomustang 0
Hell to the yes.
Ajjas013 6
Bullshit pendatic, we both know you're like... Carry the one *Carries the one*... About 4 1/2? Maybe 5. Tara... You're so getting raped :)
Free_Hugs10 0
Practice makes perfect. Just keep trying. It's not so hard once you get the hang of it. Good luck with your lessons!
snakebite009 0
inb4 snickerdoodles
MadaZer0 8
Fail... RIP OP
BannedStory 0
aww i pity you after waiting 5 years for it yo be opened and then shortly after urblesson started, your cant walk anymore.
dangkoopa 0
I also pity the foo.
ADOG2645 17
Holy shit, your spelling. It's terrible
flgirlwguitar 2
I broke my tailbone more than once just skating - and I played hockey. Keep trying and you'll get it.
speeddevil 0
it's just like roller blading.
amandaroxx 0
wow that must rly suck waiting five years and then falling:(