Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's mom's horse barn. Then I stepped in horse poop. Also I am full of dust. Dusty boi. FML
Today, my dad tried to help me overcome my intense fear of horses (due to nearly being killed by one as a child) by taking me to a ranch. Within 30 minutes, a horse bit my face. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
wolfe37 0
yeah you don't belong on a farm...stick to the city
GuyWithAGuitar 0
lMFAO. This could be a country song. Now alls that needs to happen is for your spouse to leave you and your dog to die.
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Comments (116)
jmeg_fml 0
yeah, those fences are a doozy. why do people feel it's necessary to brag about knowing farms "soooo well" or living in the city where it's "soooo better"? geez. enjoy what you enjoy and quit being so douchey
OhLawd 0
its not better in the city, I love farm/ranch country. City people alot more materialistic and self centered
raineydayes 0
WAY TO STEREOTYPE!
flyboy57 0
who the **** are you? that much shit only happens to Steve Urkel.
radman 0
You've never been on a farm before have you? Keep your hands inside the ride at all times and expect animals EVERYWHERE!
TheKitsune 0
Hah! City bitch best learn to adapt! XD
dedalus_fml 0
Q: Why doesn't that cow have any horns? A: Because it's a horse. FYL
demontwig 0
stupid bitch
kukopia 0
Now invite your cousin for a visit and take him to the 'bad' part of town. You'll laugh for hours after you ID the body.
BreeKnox 0
animals must really love you. animals get so excited sometimes that they pee on themselves, so maybe you make them really excited...or they don't. either way, fyl
sublime93 0
Lmfaoooooooo
Crunchy08 0
lol this was funny and a major fail, sucks for you.