Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
The dead art of the PUA
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Awww, my feefees
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Nice try
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
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Comments (232)
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
xlord 27
or someone who knows the difference between a compliment and an insult.
taniamw 9
Isn't negging where you compliment them then immediately shut them down?
enormouselephant 15
Tell me- do your obviously huge balls hide your dick? You're brave to assume you'd score with such an asshole of a personality.
Rddvl 11
I read "hoping to score" and just automatically thought ydi.
dcg1375 7
Totally deserved it. You obviously did not learn what negging is and probably will not ever get it. You never put a woman down or be negative to her like that. You do not make her feel "less than". You want her to feel like you are " more than". But without ruining her self esteem. You have to figure out the light jovial things and "lightly" make fun of her but something she can laugh at too. Not tell her that she obviously didn't put much effort in and looks like shit. Eeesh.
patrickalamo 48
Dude, read the book to conclusion. Then read it again. You are the kind I'd have to tell everything to twice. There is a neg for you.
doctorhook86 25
OP, you deserved it as soon as you started trying to use PUA moves. It's a trap, bro! PUA tricks are designed to warn all the quality women that the guy hitting on them is an idiot who thinks being a douchebag will help them score. Golden rule, ppl.
karabear92 7
I agree 1 and love the profile pic! RvB FTW!!!!! :)
tjv3 10
Yes this made my day
laannss 1
RVB FTW!
SlayerElite 1
Micheal's the shit, **** gavin. rooster teeth! FTW!
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
Feared 9
Quit your nagging!
Forlorn420 9
33- you mean quit your negging? Lol
Feared 9
70- yeah, that was the intended joke. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything.
hamburgerjung 23
#Howard Wolowitz^^
BrittanyChayanne 14
Yeah we don't really like that... Love the username btw
NanillaVipples 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP was asinine, but was a crotch shot really necessary? "That escalated quickly!"
sheethapins 13
Yes. Yes it was.
fuzz97 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well of course women don't like it, the whole point of negging is to pay her a compliment but at the same time make her feel bad about herself. I guess the point is to try and make her compensate with sex for her supposed inadequacies.
spekledworf 18
A guy tried this with me, as he does with every other girl he meets (he is notorious for it).... and he doesn't understand why he doesn't get any girls
deBlobX 12
Ahhh...people on FML are such judgmental assholes
BrittanyChayanne 14
128- I share your pain. Some guys have actually told me I'm not going to get much better than them so I should just settle and be happy. Waita make a gal feel special...
gc327072 31
Not sure what's dumber: dudes dumb enough to try this or girls dumb enough to occasionally fall for it. Tools & *****, like milk and Oreos.
Inediblepeaches 15
(Edit): Never mind, found the answer in another comment.
BrittanyChayanne 14
213- simple. Be honest, be polite, and flatter us :p
jv1991 16
Well put! :)
lostcrazydiamond 10
That seems like a difficult thing to put into a complement.
dominic1221 6
You're a total ****, OP. Edit: not sure how my comment turned into a reply. :/
bfsd42 20
While your glasses sure do complement your face, I would not take that as a compliment.
Airman1988 9
The only way I could possibly feel bad for op is in understanding that women do make it very difficult to approach them sometimes and how they expect a guy to catch their attention, but the way op worded this fml makes it pretty clear what he was after so he deserved what came to him.
solosohigh 15
29- I see what you're saying, but sometimes girls make it difficult to approach and talk to them because they're trying to filter out the aholes. op is only making that entire scenario worse.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
28 - Well done! Not many people know the difference between compliment and complement.
awkward_gothlady 32
Or maybe they just don't want to be approached at all. They might be out to have fun with their friends, or just to have a few drinks, or dance. Just because a woman walks out her front door doesn't mean she wants to be approached by strangers.
maskedman 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
154- If a girl goes out she wants to be approached. She'll might shut the guys down, but at least it feeds her ego. If didn't want to be approached she would dance, drink, and hang with her friends at home.
bananahammock9 0
160- that's the stupidest thing I've ever read. When I go out, I go out to have fun. You're a moron.
Airman1988 9
154 how would you suggest guys meet girls if they don't approach them at all in public? how are they supposed to know if she wants approached or not
insanexnh 13
Yeah, girls tend to do that if you use cheesy pick-up lines or stupid "techniques".
LollipopDragon 4
Or when they're flat out insulted. I know that wasn't was OP was going for, but he bombed it.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Pick-up lines are a thing of the past. Now it's all about money, status, tattoos etc. If you don't have one of the three, you need to have some serious game.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Brush it off and get back up again ;)
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Btw, YDI.
Nymphetamatrix 19
There's a button for that you know.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Yes, I'm aware, there's such a thing as emphasis :)
ohSNAPyall 27
Sounds like he's down for the count tonight. BOOM, crotch shot!
MonsterCommenter 4
^Looks like most of the comments thread are going to get thumbed down....
Nymphetamatrix 19
What's that one word people use for guys like you? Oh yeah; Asshole.
cradle6 13
I'm not condoning what OP did, it was stupid. But using physical violence because some random guy at a club insulted you? Thats really screwed up. Imagine the outrage on this site if it were reversed, and some guy slammed his knee into a girl for insulting him. OP tried some lame technique to pick up girls because he obviously is still learning. He doesn't deserve to be assaulted because of it.
Krajjan 9
I remember getting constantly hit in the balls in high school because girls thought it was funny when they caused guys testicular pain. I also remember wondering why the teachers never punished them but threatened to expel me when I said, 'Next girl that hits me gets ****-punted.'
awkwarddebater 12
146- except when you look at all the harms due to low self-esteem like eating disorders, unhealthy relationships, and suicide, I would argue that OP needs to learn quickly how to not be a dick. If he thinks that a system that's made to make someone feel obliged to **** you because they feel so horrible about themselves is a good idea, it doesn't matter if he's learning, he's a total douche. I agree there's a double standard but if there was a comment about a woman trying to do the same thing to a man who got hit I would click YDI no slower than I did here. I wouldn't personally hit anyone but I also would argue that if there was ever the time to make a nut shot, this is it.
ellie121 4
How dumb are you?
KiddNYC1O 22
That dumb.
AGhost5445 25
Worst "compliment" ever.
SamanthaCassieL 10
Yeah, next time tell us that we fell from heaven or some stupid shit like that... Just kidding! Best way to pick up a girl, honestly, just chit chat with her, and then if you both it off really well, get straight to the point (not in an asshole type way, but softly, smoothly and not pushy). That way she can at least respect you being upfront and honest, if you get turned down. Instead you could be patient and get to know her first. Ie. grab her number or give her yours.
Drigr 9
Biggest dilema a man ever faces... Does he ask for her number, or give her his?
awkward_gothlady 32
I think that the person who wants to be approached, whether they're male or female, should be the one giving the number. That way, the other person feels like the ball is in his/her court. They know the other person is interested and can then respond according to their own feelings. I don't really like giving out my number, since that once resulted in receiving a drunken phone call at 4 a.m. If I do give my number, then I really am interested in getting to know the person better, and if they call, I know they want to get to know me better, and that way, the whole potential "stalker-stalkee" dynamic is avoided.
SApprentice 34
Yeah, you're a real prize, aren't you?