Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
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Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
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Comments (232)
Steve95401 49
Your user name should be "Douchebag".
funky2525 14
guess you're not a pick up artist yet
emeraldisle 30
You're a ******* twat.
lakinre 2
You could try using a fake Australian accent. That's what my ex-boyfriend of 6 months did.
jess183xp 1
Don't make us Aussies look bad!
owo_fml 9
I thought it was a compliment. Her ex boyfriend pretended to have an Aussie accent to pick up girls. Imitation is the highest form of flattery and whatnot.
lakinre 2
Take it as a compliment to the Aussies, and an insult to the type of total douchebag he is.
jacobsond 5
Still a better love story than twilight
jess183xp 1
As as I read "hoping to score" I knew this was a YDI
annalily5 28
Next time buy her a drink, give her an actual complement, and maybe she'll appreciated how you have the guts to try and get with someone so out of your league.
roZen91 2
Howard walowitz?
jess183xp 1
Oh so totally!
capnbzarr 43
Nobody has ever "deserved it" more than you.
Shadow_Phantom 26
So... how exactly does insulting a girl make them want to go home with you? Unless they're into that sort of thing. Regardless, YDI.