Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
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Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
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Comments (232)
AholeCop 11
What I've learned: Compliment a girl = Pepper spray. Insult a girl = Kick to the balls. Tries Option 3, "Ma'am, you look very non-offensive today. I find your general appearance neutral."
AholeCop 11
You really catch the most flies with manure...or a dead body.
DukeLeto 14
So she scored, spot on, and you took one for the team, huh?
hol18 5
Can't believe you thought that would get you some.
Urpoppy 21
Idiot
drunkandfml 11
Wait hold up, let me search negging
Minnie87 0
What kind of a compliment is that??
carminecris89 13
You are a complete prick! You have no idea how much those ugly comments hurt us. I can't believe you would say damaging stuff like that just to use someone. Men like you are disgusting.
ObeyStudKing 4
YDI! If you were trying to look like a douche congrats you succeeded. I hope you learned a lesson. Asshole
zandalee 20
I agree. This guy is a tool. A tool amongst tools... Lol. Have a good night sweetie.
gavo 8
hahaha! dumbarse!