Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
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Top comments
yumsugarr 8
Be proud of your body! (:
DocBastard 40
Sounds like the start of a **** movie. Cop: 'Scuse me, but we're looking for a dangerous criminal. OP: Sorry officer, I haven't seen anything. Cop: Ma'am, I'd like to frisk you. OP: Oh yes, search and seize me!!
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Comments (111)
jkmartinjk 16
Hence the name 'pigs.'
DocBastard 40
Sounds like the start of a **** movie. Cop: 'Scuse me, but we're looking for a dangerous criminal. OP: Sorry officer, I haven't seen anything. Cop: Ma'am, I'd like to frisk you. OP: Oh yes, search and seize me!!
leadman1989 16
Knight stick might end up where that bottle is. q:
margie2194 12
Or a Brittany spears music video.
GabbyCharityM 0
50 - I don't see the difference.
s3xymoma 1
Your funnny;)
corrinaswan 0
My guessing ur a girl and the guys were cops
heyimallison 0
obviously.
datgamerchick 14
How intelligent.
asianinvasionn6 0
No shit, Sherlock.
Ghostkiller12345 9
I guess you are Captain Obvious :)
corrinaswan 0
Hey you never kno what of the cops were girls an it was a guy or it was a guy swimming and the cops were gay or being sarcastic DIDNT THINK ABOUT THAT DID YOU
perdix 31
Don't flatter yourself. You could be a pig and they'd still whistle to butter you up. They are hoping you don't file a complaint about their blatant violation of your civil rights.
wriptidez 0
rude
Snafuusmc 12
That's HAWT!
trellz17 19
Cops...smh. There really are only a FEW really good cops out here today.
Mourningstar 4
Well, it could be worse. They could have tried to harpoon you thinking you were a beached whale! At least you look nice enough to whistle at!
That0therguy 4
Why would they try to harpoon a beached whale?
buckeye08 10
That would of been super awkward if they arrested you. Naked.
eharmonee 0
Handcuffs(: kinky!
jaredofmo 22
Are you a guy or a girl? Either way, they thought you were HOTTT...
codymaas01 0
How if this a fml?....