Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
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Top comments
HeyItsCamilo 17
im waiting for him to post"today,i shat myself on a date,on the brightside i think she didn't notice"
MitchRapp 20
Sounds like a crappy date.
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Comments (37)
Exorcio 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a shitty situation...
HeyItsCamilo 17
he just didnt give a shit
danielcho7727 20
i hope he gets his shit straight
ChocolateScyther 19
why do people always make those "shitty situation puns" if they know they're gonna be downvoted into oblivion?
Mpii 11
Because their sense of humour is just as shitty...
tintarroja 31
because they don't give a shit...
will968 15
Well... Shit, why do you think? He couldn't give two ***** about this crap
HeyItsCamilo 17
im waiting for him to post"today,i shat myself on a date,on the brightside i think she didn't notice"
pharmalady 10
It was first up on the moderation list for me this morning.
Balphleair 24
Funny thing I read this while in the bathroom
Seabass_Chan 33
Isn't that where most people are while reading FML?
zaidthunder1 27
True Story.
lakesofire 13
same haha
tiptoppc 21
Same
MitchRapp 20
Sounds like a crappy date.
draftskink 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
5 it must be hard being that ******* savage
SauceySarah 30
Poor guy. Too embarrassed to acknowledge it. Deny, deny, deny.
anonymoususer070 17
As much as he was probably embarrassed and I feel for him maybe you should've asked if he wanted to go home and change that way everyone around you didn't have to notice because most likely they did and you could've gone to do something else after so he didn't have to go back to that restaurant? Plus I'm sure he wasn't comfortable sitting in it the whole time.
Tripartita 45
Can you really blame him, Lady Bloodshart? Last time a relative of mine crossed a descendant of the Redwater line, we ended up having to excommunicate them for fear of the toiletry related curses that befell them. I should think that your reputation would be enough to strike fear into the hearts (and bowels) of those who hope to court you.
lccc_ 18
he was probably just super embarrased.
MrZed_fml 11
I hope he gets his shit straight