Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
SOCALME 3
You took the term "raise the roof" too literally...
jakerb0b 0
i hate spiders
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Comments (77)
SOCALME 3
You took the term "raise the roof" too literally...
Lexisaurus 6
hahaha LMAO YDI op
cmac86 24
at least op didn't sing "the roof is on fire".
rene22 18
1 & 17 win for life
kiddoraelyn 0
and then beetlejuice popped out.
0opsie 6
Nothing wakes you up better than a face full of spiders.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Let them live on your face and do your bidding so that you can rule the world with your spider army
TechnoTaco 0
Good morning, lol.
jakerb0b 0
i hate spiders
hotncool 0
I hate spiders too as a matta of fact I'm terrified of em been that way since I was little no joke
metal8214 0
no one cares lol
Zya_fml 8
Matta of fact? Really..?
Bubblerider 3
if that happened to me, I wouldn't even freak out, I would just die right away.
moomoo14 0
saame they scare and disgust the friction crap outta mee
sirsquab 12
I'd freak the **** out. In my panic, I'd probably sit up and smash my head on the ceiling too.
tattieannecaldwe 0
hahahaha that blows.
meowmeowwkitty 0
YES... YES IT DEF DOES!!
pedosmurf 7
At least you were energized to get away from the spiders :)
alfred_winklewof 8
#3 your an asshole
velvel 7
now the little birds can eat the tiny spiders! :)
ImJustMosh 0
^win
RawrBunneh 0
Good morning!! ;D
Skroal_stomper 5
Good morning to you.
nathan5 0
Good evening
yuukicross_fml 0
I would smash
KingDingALing 9
Good night bitches!
dicklover69 0
RawrBunneh, you are a hottie
8trickster8 0
This comment has not been moderated.
danielleeycakes 3
that's grosssss. I hate spiders. D;
joHnnycsU 0
You don't live in Australia by any chance?
tdotgirl1 0
why wont my comment post!!
tdotgirl1 0
oh great -_- As I was saying,why are you complaining OP,you just got free breakfast in bed.
maphineRAWRS 10
hey hey, Australias' awesome :)
W4X 0
HULK MADDDD-OMFG SPIDERS!!!! lul
allmidnighteyes 11
nomnomnommm protein!
shawtieee 0
yuck!