Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
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Top comments
llamafish 25
Plot twist: it's actually her father.
skellingtonfart 18
Sharing is caring.
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Comments (123)
dustyb90 4
Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
skyeyez9 25
I find it ridiculous how most of you have compassion for a dick who broke into a stranger's car. I am willing to bet that douche rummaged thru OP's car for any valuables before helping himself to OP's dinner.
bankrupt 15
Yep, you said it, No. 93. There are too many people who think the vandal was justified and the victim is an ass for being upset. I don't give a **** if the homeless man was hungry, he is still guilty of breaking and entering and stealing. This is the time of year when a lot of these useless ***** commit crimes. They want to go to jail and spend the winter in a warm cell eating three square meals a day and getting to shower and watch TV at the public's expense because it beats getting a job and working and being accountable for themselves. They don't want to do 2-5 so they commit crimes that are petty enough to get them 3-6 months. If they get 3 and it's still cold out, they pick a figh with another inmate so they get to serve the max. Then they leave in May when it's warm enough to hang outside again. This is why break-ins are up this time of year in the north.
jsnflanagan 2
should of round housed his ass....
simoncat 11
The broken window sux. Sorry OP. Other than that, seems like an organic way for you to show your compassionate side to your new lady.
KiddNYC1O 22
I usually feel bad for the homeless but once they invade your privacy and vandalize that's just a little overboard.
theburninator 1
What kind of monster eats someone elses pasta!?
rawdrums 6
The lesson I learned from this story is movie first then dinner.
slapsface 10
Merry early christmas
aly_goes_rawr 3
So..... How was the movie?
chaskies 4
Well your life don't suck as much as his