Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
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Top comments
llamafish 25
Plot twist: it's actually her father.
skellingtonfart 18
Sharing is caring.
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Comments (123)
challan 19
F his life, OP. You have insurance, I hope, and it will be fixed. Besides...You guys have a great first date sorry to tell your grandkids!
TechFire 25
So, you think that the fact that he's homeless justifies breaking the law? In that case, I need to out on the street right not and start mugging everyone I see!
superrocket19 17
He had no choice. It was too bad he broke the window though. :/ Don't worry, he got fed. And it's just pasta!
iBookFlippa 2
Why does everyone seem to think that it's okay that the homeless guy did this? Being homeless is not an excuse to damage property.
chubbybunny963 7
Hey look at the bright side. You met a great girl! And the homeless guy will be a great story to laugh about later :)
TechFire 25
I'm willing to bet that not one of you people "sympathizing" with the homeless criminal gives homeless people change when you see them. The comments here are disgusting.
TechFire 25
This was supposed to be a reply. Removed
Awsumuzzie 12
For everyone making an excuse for this guy, saying things like, "he needed the meal more." 1) that's one heck of an expensive give out. Fixing his car will be expensive... Even with insurance. 2) that's never an excuse to ruin property. 3) maybe the OP was broke and also needed the meal. That homeless man has many places to go to to eat, he just chose to be a lazy and irresponsible human being.
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, most insurance will pay fully for replacing a broken window. Especially if it's due to vandalism. I agree with the rest of your comment though. There's no excuse for breaking into someones car.
cradle6 13
Thank you 51. Only person that makes sense on this FML. Breaking and entering is bad people.
bankrupt 15
Thank you, Awsumuzzie, for saying what I was thinking. There is absolutely no excuse for breaking into someone's car and stealing ANYTHING. It is still breaking and entering. I wonder if everyone would feel the same if the homeless man had broken into the OP's home and raided his fridge? It's the same thing. The OP is not responsible for the care and feeding of some random dirtbag who busted into his car but he is now stuck with the cost of car repairs.
alwaysbored13 14
Why is everyone going so easy on the homeless man? Sure he has huge problems to deal with but he still ruined OP's date, car and day. Car windows aren't too cheap either. He could have always asked for food ...
RoboCunnilingus 23
All I could think reading this was homeless orgy. If you didn't see The Other Guys(I think), then I imagine this comment would disturb you.