Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
First Dates
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
Wait, what?
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML
Pleased to meet y'all
Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML
Next
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Pleased to meet you
Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
Top comments
Trix_Disorder 20
I hope you said yes, claimed you were going to get the host, and then left her there. Rude.
RealTalk0 7
You should have said, "Yeah. You're the disaster." FYL OP
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Comments (114)
FireFlie07 20
Wow, thats pretty bad.
outstandtacular 11
You don't say?
CaptainDoorknob 7
Well, it's not exactly good..?
persianjr1 7
Hey, at least you were able to figure out she wasn't worth it half way through instead of later on.
starman02 12
What a bitch. Im so sorry OP. I hope she was extremely embarrassed. Not all girls are like that! I swear! Seriously!
greenie213 23
But the nice ones are getting rarer and rarer. FML on behalf of men everywhere.
walmartpaysme 15
48 what makes you think she is being a bitch. OP provided only one detail and that was that he toile her to dinner. You have no idea what was going on. He could have been an arrogant jerk the entire time.
starman02 12
Okay first, you need to check your grammar! Secondly, usually when a woman doesn't spare the other person's feelings they come off as a bitch, hence why I said she was. Your absolutely right he could have most definitely been an arrogant prick the whole time. I honestly did not even think of the the other side of the story when I commented. I see what you are trying to say. Next time I will keep both parties in mind.
ygdrassil 17
She's within her rights to ask him not to do something specific, but to ask if it's a hidden-camera show, when he may well be oblivious that it's not going well, is incredibly rude.
white16sox 19
57, you're a hypocrite. You tell the guy to check his grammar, then put " your" when it should be " you're."
chellyX92 8
57, i am horrific when it comes to grammar, but I'm pretty sure you used the wrong "your" isn't it supposed to be "you're" since you are basically saying "you are." just saying. Edit: Damn 67 beat me to it.
starman02 12
Honestly I didn't even see that! Thank you for pointing that out ( both of you)!
ifknh8usernames 7
57 not only that.. but from other recent FMLs, I've noticed you have a problem understanding when apostrophes are appropriate or not. So don't make yourself a target by calling someone out hypocritically.
sens3sfailing 25
67-While reading your profile about hating bad grammar, I found 2 grammatical mistakes. Practice what you preach.
Ajwc101 24
57 - I don't mean be rude, but no one seems to like what you have to say. Maybe you take a little break.
chellyX92 8
80, I didn't realize the Internet was about pleasing others. I'll take your advice to mind.
starman02 12
80- This may surprise you but I'm not commenting to please others, I comment on the FML. If You don't like what I have to say than please skip my comments!
ifknh8usernames 7
105- then*. I'm beginning to think your mistakes aren't accidental.
Trix_Disorder 20
I hope you said yes, claimed you were going to get the host, and then left her there. Rude.
gc327072 31
Would've been a very good flop fml. "Today, i went on a date with this guy..."
BeautyOfGrac3 6
I woulda. Gezz
ASD_K 11
Ingenious.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Leave her with the check?
habibiiiiiii 2
Order more things. Then leave her with the check.
CaptainDoorknob 7
If that was me I'd be an asshat and tell the management it's the girls birthday so she's by herself having Happy Birthday sung to her. As I slip out the back, of course.
Crlnprz 11
your pic is disturbing.. who would try that with a baby..
EmoSquirrel 7
Lol eat everything in sight first. Omnommom.
jessikamahone 6
Should've told her yeah mayne
buck33 14
I'm not sure if you're trying to say: "Should've told her, 'yeah man.'" Or "Yeah man, should've told her!"
TurquoiseJesus 15
Or: "Should've told her 'yeah', man."
LiterOfCola 16
"Mayne" is used fairly commonly by teenagers. It basically means man, just pronounced different. I think the reason is that rappers sound like they're saying mayne instead of man in their songs.
Trix_Disorder 20
I like "mang," personally (think hispanic accent).
pokefan813 16
I thought he just misspelled maybe. The letters are right next to each other!
CaptainDoorknob 7
English is your friend. Embrace it.
Crlnprz 11
#76 ...what?
Jaxx66 21
I think I understand 76, 84. Basically he's saying that the English language is being murdered violently by a bunch of midgets with giant, fiery sticks. (addlibbed a bit) Hell, I was in a gas station yesterday and their name for the new smoothie machine was 'fa'real smoothie'! That made me cringe. Honestly, I agree and don't understand why people are wondering 'what's happening to the kids? Why can't they spell?'
Jaxx66 21
Oops. I meant to say; '84, I know what 76 is saying'. Damn morning dyslexia.
CaptainDoorknob 7
I think what 4's trying to tell us is when his teacher asked him if he had trouble reading and writing he should've told her "yeah, man".
drunkandfml 11
I thought she was trying to say 'maybe'
drunkandfml 11
I thought she was trying to say 'maybe'
priceyfml 7
Jeez I didn't know a date could go that bad sorry op
007type 26
Preposition, use it.
Shrike 24
You might want to avoid using comma splices if you want to criticize other people's grammar, mate.
007type 26
21- There is no hard and fast rule against using it. Google is your friend, use it. :)
AFloppyWetWhale 6
27 - There's a reason why you're getting thumbed down so much... just stop talking.
gracehi 33
Okay, 007type, you've made several hypocritical mistakes here. First of all, it was not a preposition that priceyfml lacked, but punctuation and a proper adjective. Next, you used a comma where you should have had a colon, so the sentence would read, "Preposition: use it." You then, once again, used a comma where you should have used a stronger punctuation, thus creating a run-on sentence. Your reply should have read, "Google is your friend: use it," or, "Google is your friend; use it," or "Google is your friend. Use it." You should note that that phrase is actually two complete sentences, and therefore cannot be joined by a mere comma. Anyway, my point is that you should remove the plank from your own eye before attempting to remove the speck from the eye of another. It shall prevent from being a grammar nazi failure in the future. I apologize for being so condescending, but I loathe grammar nazis, especially the ones who actually don't know shit about grammar.
AKiDNamedJoHn 12
You gotta be boring as hell for her to say that
esines 9
Or a dick
Briiyahh 7
-39 your picture is interesting.. Lmao Just thought I'd share my thoughts.. :)
RealTalk0 7
You should have said, "Yeah. You're the disaster." FYL OP
sheethapins 13
McDonalds. Not lovin' it.
1lasthoorah 0
Hhaha rightt?
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Wait, "should OF"? I feel like I'm reading the end result of a 5 year old headbutting a keyboard.
Welshite 40
What an insensitive hack. I would have called for the check right then and there.
vocaloidtiger 12
I believe I've asked you this before and got no response. Persistence surely must pay off, so I'll keep trying: Now, I know this is REALLY off topic, but Welshite, what in the hell is your profile picture suppose to be of? I swear, it's been bothering me. My head actually hurts just looking at the picture because I seriously cannot figure it out. End my misery and respond to this?
lizzybug 5
#88 if you read welshite's about me you could infer that the picture is of the mineral welshite & just to double check, you could google image welshite & that image pops up :)