Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Fashion Week
Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML
Bat out of hell
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Bland date
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Classic blunder
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
Classic
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
How did it go?
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Self report
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Nope, just nope
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Top comments
Alex_DeLarge 0
Even if that wasn't her, did you think insulting somebody would make you look cool?
Callyn 47
You're an ass. Even if she wasn't fat, she probably would have found that offensive. You should've just told her that you were there. If you weren't attracted to her, you aren't obligated to make a second date but you don't have to be rude.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (237)
anniebananie 3
This isn't 4chan. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Besides, I'm pretty sure that Anonymous won't track me down because I insulted some random chick who decided to pick a fight with me. Anonymous isn't your personal army.
Intoxicunt 6
Anonymous, FTL. Yeah I said it. Deal with it. :) While #212 has impeccable logic, I agree with the basic point anniebananie was making. I would prefer to be called "girl", "lady", or "woman" over "chick" or "female". Feminism IS a choice, and I choose to ask politely that I not be called "female" except when it makes sense with the context. It just rubs me the wrong way, but I try not to make a big deal about it.
kwinters 5
i think im in love with your logic... in this one and the big comment before. props to you!
mooneydriver 0
Judging by the reception you've gotten here, anonymous isn't YOUR personal army. The huge number of oppressed women you speak for? They think that you're a moron and that you're making things worse for them...
anniebananie 3
Stop making things up. When did I ever mention huge numbers of oppressed women? Oh that's right, that didn't happen. Learn to read. I wasn't 'calling on Anonymous' or whatever it is you 4channers do when you get your panties in a bunch. I was sharing my personal opinion. Some people saw where I was coming from. Some didn't. I don't really care. I also don't really care what Anon thinks of me.. considering that it isn't an organized entity that shares one idea. Who are these women that think I'm a moron? Oh, it's YOU that thinks I'm a moron? Okay, then come out and say THAT instead of hiding behind some faceless, imaginary women.
mooneydriver 0
"It just rubs me the wrong way, but I try not to make a big deal about it." If you ask politely, you shall recieve. If you spout some bullshit about how every man who uses the term "female" is "ghetto-ass", you're a pretentious **** with a Warhol banana as an avatar.
anniebananie 3
What is it I'm supposed to receive from you again? Your approval? And... who are you again? Yeah, I could care less. I like Andy Warhol and I like bananas. What you think about me is irrelevant.
mooneydriver 0
That's why you reply to everything anybody posts? Weren't you going to return to your studies hours ago?
anniebananie 3
Um.. maybe because this is mildly entertaining? I kind of like seeing the differences of opinion that come up. Plus, it's kind of comical watching people like you hurl insults at me. "Oh noes, Anon is going to get me because I said something disagreeable on FML." Anyway, If you'd notice, I DID return to my studies. Not that I had to answer to you.
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah, I generally just don't bother. I assume anyone calling me a term I don't prefer isn't doing it in a demeaning way, so I just let it go. It works with both genders. My ex even preferred to NOT be called a "man" because it made him feel old. If it ever starts to bother me, I just say, "Why don't you call me a lady/girl/woman from now on? It just sounds better." P.S. The comment about Anonymous was a joke. I'm not sure if the ":)" made it obvious. Meh.
mooneydriver 0
"Who are these women that think I'm a moron?" gonzolove DameGreyWulf mercyFML kwinters Others? YOU try sexing an FML account... This argument has been reduced to the point of absurdity. You are a sad lonely person, Ms. bananie. Your "studies" are clearly not your priority, or you would have returned to them hours ago. Just compare one of your opponents to Hitler so that this can end... Last post.
anniebananie 3
Yes, I am distracted from my studies! Just like at least half of the people on FML at any given time. Big deal. The people you listed hardly qualify as "the huge number of oppressed women I speak for." And you're just like Hitler. Seriously, like EXACTLY like Hitler. Are you twins? Okay, you got what you wanted. Bye now :)
iamafish 0
is the banana a troll? seriously who gets that worked up about the noun "female"? I'm a female and I use the term 'female' a lot to get out of the technicalities of age. You know what I consider more disrespectful? Calling grown women "girls." I also use the term "male" for guys a lot to avoid the same technicalities of age.
HeyItsWill12 0
HAHHAHA #8 FTW..
mooneydriver 0
"because from what I've seen on FML everyone who goes to college for biology, medicine etc. just seems to be so narrow minded" You form your opinion on entire fields of study based on what you read here? Really? Good luck to you...
gonzolove 0
mercy, we seriously need to have babies like right now. Because I am completely in love with you and your everything =] lovessssssssssssssss.
Jonno8825 0
OI! Fat chicks need loving to you know Plus, who says shes ugly? just fat, who gives a flying **** If your going on blind dates, then your a desperate, and everyone knows beggar's can't be choosers
twirly 0
Hahahaha WOW I have never been more entertained... gonzolove, youre awesome! haha as for annie..."Today, I found out that EVERYONE on fml hates me. fml." haha seriously, stop being so uptight!!!
Dreamworld_fml 0
The OP could def be a girl. I mean hello...sarahh38! Lesbians! yay! ; )
Dreamworld_fml 0
60 to 70% of fat people have emotional and mental issues stemming from prior hardships in the past. Which made them turn to food to eat away the pain. It's the equivalent to a person who cuts themselves to deal with the pain, the only difference is cutting is an immediate relief while over-eating is slower and more subtle.
Dreamworld_fml 0
Do not knock these people for being fat because they have already been knocked down in the past and dealing with obesity, which for most people is/becomes an addiction, is a constant downer if not on the surface than always in the subconscious.
Dreamworld_fml 0
Those of you putting down fat people have no idea what its like to be fat. You have no idea what its like until you live a day in their life. Remember the pain they remember, feel the stress they feel, deal with the putting yourself down for how you look every day. Over weight people feel more than most people do. Also, being called fat is almost equivalent to someone pointing out how small your dick is, so think about that ; )