Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
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Top comments
Alex_DeLarge 0
Even if that wasn't her, did you think insulting somebody would make you look cool?
Callyn 47
You're an ass. Even if she wasn't fat, she probably would have found that offensive. You should've just told her that you were there. If you weren't attracted to her, you aren't obligated to make a second date but you don't have to be rude.
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Comments (237)
gonzolove 0
That's a very good point #63.
shaerbear00 0
Sorry, ive never been on a blind date before but...is it somehow against the rules to exchange pictures before meeting a blind date? You know, so they can't decide whether or not the person is to their??... ...and if it isn't against the rules to do that, what phone does the OP have that he/she/it couldnt have gotten a picture from the fat girl or sent one in return? That would've saved him and the girl a lot of embarrassment. And lost time. ...and since im pretty new to FML, what the hell does OP mean????
ninja4life 0
LOLZ i would of laffed and walked away. and just left. i think its more funny then bad.
Avabundy 0
Thats just awsome. Kudo's to you
Noah_h 0
lmao
ranbeer 0
i guess she wasn't a ffc
hahasuckstobeyou 0
As soon as i read it i thought here come the femnazis. (By femnazis i mean feminists that overrea the littlest things. Like saying a man is head of the household. Its true because God made it that way 'cause of Eve. So blame Eve if your gonna get mad. Genesis 3:16-To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (NIV). Thats why.) The OP didn't say he didn't like fat chicks. Also, if your fat theres no point in denying it, i know im fat, i need to lose some weight, so what? To all the guys saying stuff like "hope you had fun with the porky :D" That's really mean and disrespectful. Women are people too, and just because they can be treated like s*** and will stay with you doesn't mean you should do it. (I know, that sounded mean but its true)
hollywoodbound 0
ahahah people who argue over the internet make my day.
biabia_fml 0
LOL OMG could you imagine the awkwardness.......i'm sorry but i LOLED big time when i read this and it's clearly and FML for him because how do you save yourself from that all i have to say is AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA good one you're a winner
mooneydriver 0
anniebananie, do not bring the wrath of anonymous down on your head. It's not worth it. You have weaknesses, they will find them. All of them. Even the ones you didn't know you had. "I'm going to conclude that it is because you are lucky enough to never have been exposed to ghetto-ass people who use 'female' in such a context." I'm sorry that different cultures scare you. They see the world differently from you! OMG! Call the cops! Call the grammar nazis! Call the feminists! Call anybody, so long as they agree with you! "That was never stated anywhere." nice use of the passive voice. Are you sure you're not a political science major? "I really could care less how often you have sex, and I doubt the rest of the internet does, either. " Your reply says otherwise. The rest of the internets most definitely give a shit. (That makes grammatical sense. Really, it does. Don't fight it. I can overuse parenthesis too!) The internets don't care how often a REAL, LIVE female has sex? 4chan will disabuse you of that notion... "Who said there was anything wrong with being a woman?" Nobody. Somebody said there was something wrong with being a "female". Was that you? "Calling women, 'females', is a major turnoff. We're not animals, you know. I'm not a feminist.. but that really rubs me the wrong way when males call us that." You sure know how to turn a man on... "I am speaking for myself only." vs "The point I was making is that acting respectfully towards women is generally more likely to get one laid. Get it?" By whom? You fail. Step away from the internets. You ARE the fat chick in question, right?