Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year-old son decided to ask aloud, "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and me. It started with, "I love you", and ended with,"You and your brother were mistakes." FML
Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML
Today, I realized how absolutely shitty my family is when my brother brought home his third girlfriend this week. They all smiled in her face, knowing full well my brother is a cheating asshole. Not to mention, she’s pregnant with his kid. I wasn’t allowed to date til I moved out. FML
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Top comments
ohmyword08 0
aww, well you prove them wrong ! :D
jaskyriddims 0
Hi
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Comments (121)
Joshb306 0
YDI for being a failure
stone_light 0
totally agree
fmlfmlfml15 0
Hi Chev!!
Zhejan 0
In Soviet Russia, Chev is you!
Rakayum 0
did you punch your brother in the throat? i would have. twice.
kayceesaysfyl 0
"hi chev!!" :DD
jaskyriddims 0
Hi
kewlcat 0
OHAI
sucktobeyou 0
don't worry God loves you
cerebellum_fml 0
Chev the chav
rjrudman 0
YDI for believing in a magical wizard in the sky
iwrotehaikus 0
your life is just horrible.
greent_fml 0
well apparently your parents thought you were gonna be a failure in life that's why they named you Chev. wtf is that short for? chevrolet?
cmmt12 0
#3, just so you know, not everyone has the typical "americanized" names. If you didn't notice, he lives in Dominica. Stop being so ignorant.
allmidnighteyes 11
Hahahaha, ******* seriously. "cletus wut's we gonn' name da new kid?" "i daw no, bobbi jo. why don't we's name it chevy like our otha kid pontiac?" *spits in spittoon and chugs moonshyne* But, OP lives in Dominica.
romaunts 0
Heyy, Moonshine isn't the poison of hillbillies anymore... haven't you heard, they're "pill-billies" now! Thank you, Diane Sawyer.
Intoxicunt 6
*High fives mercy* YEAAAH! Also, Vicodin FTW! Ecstasy too! *High fifteen* Lol, I misspelled "ecstasy" as "ecstasTy" the first time. Yummm.
Egotistical 0
Funny but slick:]
your_mother 0
well maybe you should try to stop SUCKING AT LIFE!!! YDI
ohmyword08 0
aww, well you prove them wrong ! :D
Pandasaur 0
Hi Chev! :] Agreed with #5. Your family will regret it when you're all big and successful.
jaskyriddims 0
thanks
Pandasaur 0
You're welcome!
Exhumed 0
first
123sploosh 0
nope soap!
Stoopid_boi 2
go prove them wrong!!! dont let other people hold you back and put you down!!
mrlucky4444 0
What loving, supportive parents you have!
risee 0
who actually "gathers to pray"?
Pandasaur 0
Anyone who goes to church?
romaunts 0
Not 'anyone who goes to church'. Some families are still close enough to do that... most though don't really have 'family dinners', let alone 'family prayer'. Maybe its because the OP is in a different country? Maybe their values, such as family time, haven't diminished like the US.
Pandasaur 0
Yes, 'anyone who goes to church,' since going to church is gathering to pray. I never said that churchgoers are the only people who gather to pray. I was just giving #12 an example of people who actually gather to pray.
_cheeseballs 0
I spy a mass argument coming on. :']
Pandasaur 0
xD I HOPE there's no mass argument coming on! I was just clearing up what I said. Besides, even if there was a mass argument coming on, I'd lose. The pressure's on (Mercy has her popcorn!) and I'd get nervous.
DrunkenValor 0
Our buses (Where I'm from anyway) use to have advertisements that said 'Don't worry, there is no god.' Why would public transport lie to me?
Pandasaur 0
Because someone paid them enough. :]
DrunkenValor 0
It's a sign. It's a sign from a higher more cynical power then myself.
null_fml 11
You would not lose, Pandasaur. Because I love mass arguments, and I would back you up, and I'm reasonably certain it would be very easy to prove that people who go to church usually gather to pray.