Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date, meeting up in a park. I got there first and sat down to wait for him. After a while, a guy sat down next to me. I wasn't sure if it was him, so I texted him, asking if he'd arrived. His response was, "I'm already here, sat to the left of the old woman dressed like a gypsy." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by my best friend. When I got there, my "date" was my ex. My best friend knew, and she thought it would be "funny" to see how we would react. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
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Top comments
Alex_DeLarge 0
Even if that wasn't her, did you think insulting somebody would make you look cool?
Callyn 47
You're an ass. Even if she wasn't fat, she probably would have found that offensive. You should've just told her that you were there. If you weren't attracted to her, you aren't obligated to make a second date but you don't have to be rude.
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Comments (237)
im_da_man 5
THIS IS WHY IM SO NICE!
masterofoverkill 0
in the words of the late, great Freddie Mercury. "Fat Bottom girls you make the rockin' world go round"
DuhthatsObvious 0
#8 and #23, ILY... OP your life is ******!
im_da_man 5
BABY GOT BACK!
moonlight_daze 8
The OP wins for being so utterly oblivious to his rudeness and insensitivity. Such obliviousness is quite a feat if I do say so myself! :D
cat83 0
YDI, but it's still pretty funny :-)
kateexo 0
Fat people need to lose weight, they can help it if their fat it's called stop eating fast food and get off their lazy ass. There's no need to be fat, so. Don't feel bad for them. But that sucks for you that's when you run and pretend you never were suppose to meet her. :)
Miss_Jessie12 0
Its funny how most of the conversation is a bash on fat people. Are you all really that insecure with yourselves you have to make fun of other people? Seriously... (and she was probably to good for you anyway...)
PandaPandaPandaX 0
I eat healthily, exercise regularly and am still overweight. Why don't you get off your high horse and stop judging others? I hope your metabolism slows right down, it would be good for you to have to actually watch what you eat.
SPxLAX 0
#4 is GODLY... LOL LAUGHED SO HARD
iFruit 0
LMA0000000