Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
MommaMuff 6
At least you had testicles left. Be thankful.
DalekWarrior26 9
they don't have testicles left that's the one that was brutally murdered rip left ********
iAmScrubs 19
Cheaters never prosper. You completely deserved it, idiot.
sensoon15 7
you don't deserve to have any testicles. ******.
Iwashere12345 0
then he'd be a girl and called a ***** for cheating
XxToriwolfxX 0
A guy with no testicles is a girl? What ******* drugs are you on?
angel_831 0
what
Sniper3000 0
185 u made me laugh
nickdunbar 8
YDI, why would you cheat in the first place?
thatonename 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ok, I understand that cheating is bad and I fully agree, but you really can't understand why someone would? I mean come on, two is always better than one... no, I do not condone cheating whatsoever, I'm just saying it's easy to understand the attraction. .
kg163401 0
your testicles are next. :-)
xo_kat_xo 0
you deserved that. cheaters never win
rebekahah 7
eh, my motto was always "cheaters never lose, and losers never cheat", but that really doesn't apply here, huh?
rebekahah 7
ahh don't we just hate when that happens?
xgetxbentx 13
you should try a picture of yourself and not Courtney dior....
CaligurlLULU 0
you're a bitch. you know that right?! to think cheating is good! they say he shouldn't have kids, neither should you bitch. it's wrong and immoral! I can't wait til you actually fall in love one day and they cheat on you! oh and I can see why u think it's ok. you're so ugly that you'd rather barely get a guy and share him as he cheats than die alone with a million cats you ugly ass.
fuzzyrat1 4
you deserve it. don't cheat, douche.
kkins 0
well next time don't date two girls and not expect it to eventually blow up in your face
MsSoulReaper 27
You got what you deserved ;) you won't be getting any sympathy here asshole.
klovemachine 24
I didn't have any sympathy for him, but with all these negative comments, I feel sorry for him now :D
underdose 9
be thankful you still have your testicles you dont deserve them asshole. i hate when people like you who do horrible things complain because you dont get away with it.
kialuvsyoo 3
You took the words right out of my mouth. He's the one who cheated, yet he's also the one complaining. Wth.