Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I woke up my friend and had him take me to the ER. I had trouble breathing and my chest hurt, so the doctor put me on an EKG and took X-rays. I had strained my chest lifting weights at the gym earlier that day and pulled a muscle, and now thanks to my massive anxiety I have a $700 hospital bill. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
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Top comments
tido26 18
I can promise you that she doesn't care. Just about anyone in the medical field doesn't care about your junk, so it's only weird if you make it weird
outbackbrett 2
dam just don't let yourself get a hard on lol
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Comments (9)
outbackbrett 2
dam just don't let yourself get a hard on lol
tido26 18
I can promise you that she doesn't care. Just about anyone in the medical field doesn't care about your junk, so it's only weird if you make it weird
RichardPencil 32
I hope you mean "medical" field. The media field cares a lot about balls!
RichardPencil 32
Serves you right for going to a strip club without a codpiece. They'll probably give you some serious meds for ********-check-induced tachycardia.
peterblack67 9
You called an ambulance???
Warp1978 15
I'm with you here, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS COST (everyone's mum)
RichardPencil 32
You need to admit to the nurse that you're nuts about her.
DixieNormous 3
I'm not seeing an issue here lol
gidonene 7
i was in a similar situation when i had to get surgery to lower one off my bals to reduce the risk of cancer, it was great we reconnected while she massaged my balls and we're great friends now
phile 15
Look in the bright side, at least you made someone's day through balls infection. Nobody could ever do that
repKyle95 24
Good lord, that is awful. I genuinely have to ask though, how the **** does a ******** get infected? Did you have some sort of laceration or other entry wound? I'm genuinely curious... mainly because I never want this to happen to MY balls. Lmao