Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
cynthiaF 0
Two timing? That sir is a big NO NO!
Egnar 19
It sounds like you should be less stupid in the future. I mean if you're going to be the scum of the Earth and require having more than one long-term female companion at least have the intelligence to do so in a manner where they would have very very little potential to ever meet [aka girls from several towns away]. . . I don't condone this type of action but if you're going to be a complete ass at least do it in a smarter manner.
EvilLilCupcake 10
don't give him ideas cuz people like him would most likely try it
shakeTHEworld 12
Well, what did you expect would happen when they found out about each other?
berryblue 0
thats whta you get for cheating. its not right and im prettu sure if one of them cheates on you, you'd be pissed
zombigrrl 0
you deserved it ******
kg163401 0
Was that your best functioning ********? :-/
jamie72596 9
Wow, both of them showed up at the same place? Just consider your self lucky that you still have your left ********. YDI.
Digitalluv 0
your lucky, my boyfriend would of had a free circumcision.
cumverg 0
That's far less worse than what OP is going through...
GotParamore 2
then don't be a total D and that won't happen
jemini_fml 0
maybe next time you will think twice before you cheat