Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
alcenwndrlnd 0
you're a douche bag
Turbo_Kramit 0
you should be happy a girl kicked you in the balls. what i would have done to you would beem way worse
LemonStarship 5
Lesson learned.
Someofthisisfunn 0
Get a lawyer and sue them both. It's not your fault they're that dumb. Maybe it is for not negotiating a three way
mariahjoomeh 0
No, not FYL. **** their life. Douche bag.
kialuvsyoo 3
Why even post this? YdefinitelyDI
SeaNDouble 1
yea he deserves bad things for cheating but it's still ASSAULT. if it was a girl beat up by two guys for cheating on them and she went to the hospital OMG!! they'd be locked up.
0opsie 6
Exactly. If this was a girl who ended up in a hospital for cheating on two guys no one would say she deserved it. Of course he's an asshole for cheating, and he deserves bad things but it's disturbing to see people praising assault. That's how people see it: A woman's emotional pain justifies causing a man physical pain but the other way around is unthinkable. And he could press charges. The excuse "but he cheated on us" would never hold up in court.
kc1997kc 9
I'm with 164, she would deserve it too, and I'd still say YDI
tweetbaby14 18
194, are you stupid? the comment just above yours said she'd still deserve it. my god... obvious stupidity at it's best.
0opsie 6
I was obviously replying to the main comment, dumbass. There was only one reply after it so I didn't feel it was necessary to specify. However, I didn't think there'd be someone stupid enough to get confused. And just so you don't make the same mistake again: THIS IS A REPLY TO NUMBER 422 USERNAME: TWEETYBABY14
0opsie 6
*tweetbaby14 I hope the extra Y doesn't confuse you.
Surferbro 5
2 hours later the girls came back and ****** his shit up again
jess6blondie9 3
I hope they did!
darkmis1 18
YDI you asshole! This is what you get for cheating!
kaitisgrait 0
haha, asshole. karma bit you hard, you totally deserved it.