Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML
Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
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Top comments
nmsm 1
why would he leave something like that in his yard. weirdo.
dixieboo 0
Who said your neighbor was Jiraya???
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Comments (218)
dixieboo 0
Who said your neighbor was Jiraya???
Epilepsy_fml 0
Who in gods name is jaraya?
BossDavyy 0
The purvey Naruto character
imanillawafr 4
hahaha nice one.
Bakayarou_fml 0
Jiraiya RULES! On topic, since you are so patient with useless tasks, you may as well piece most of it together, attach a note and shove it through the letterbox.
Agiggleaday 0
Should have left them there. No minds seeing a naked womans parts, we are beautiful.
Agiggleaday 0
*one
dreamering 16
Yes 43. Half tit must be quite a view. Personally, I would have resolved the puzzle before.
Agiggleaday 0
63, some guys can't get more than that, you know?
PulselCie 3
Jariah.*
chel325 2
lyllgyg
chel325 2
lyllgyg
chel325 2
lyllgyg
chel325 2
lyllgygu
Epilepsy_fml 0
You kids need to get out more.
Rawr_means_love3 0
Texas is the best! Well, haters gonna hate!
dixieboo 0
i know i sound stupid, but what does lyllgygu stand for?
Agiggleaday 0
90, wrong comment
baseballstuf52 0
well that's better than picking up dog poo.
hellogoodbye1996 6
no it say texas 90 is right
Agiggleaday 0
I assumed he/she was replying to 4
chrispyy21 0
did yaw buss off on his lawn? KEKEKEKE "wus aw dis wite shit!" KEKEKEKE
enonymous 9
If it was an old copy it was probably the first and last time she's been shaved.
Hidan_fml 0
Ero-sennin, dattebayo!!!
Rawr_means_love3 0
101- You were right:) my iPad screwed it up :)
iluvhobos 5
Where is the FML here? It was a ******* Playboy, the only bad part is that OP didn't get paid. They could have just used a rake or something..
BB_ava 0
70, *Jiraiya
Kyze_Ninja 10
Jiraiya's a beast.
YacL 15
All right, and Hidan's here to throw in his two cents!
coolp3son 0
thumbs up for your photo
seanders 10
As long as Madara doesn't show up we're good.
dixieboo 0
If Tobi found a playboy magazine, things would get interesting
hotscar 3
I thought jiriah was dead...
Xr70r7 4
who cares about Narato?
YacL 15
Lots of people like *Naruto, and judging by your ignorant comment, you don't.
liv4444 0
thats the tip.......
chaywood13 0
AFTER OP gets paid. The guy might get pissed. haha
IronZombie 0
so.. u ran over HIS magazine that HE hid in HIS yard? and you picked it all up? I would've made him eat that shyt if he told me to pick it up
deathkid1 0
lol xD pervy sage!!
LemonStarship 5
Now that's dedication.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Nothing quite as fascinating as public masturbation..... .....or as creepy.
OceanBreathesSal 5
couldn't he have just use the rake?
cgchamp89 7
OP's not dedicated. Here's what really happened... OP was cutting the grass using a riding mower while masturbating to a playboy. The wind got a hold of the magazine and he ran it over. OP was simply covering up for himself.
unvmesucka 0
I would have left the yard in a sticky mess.
1215116a 14
19, your icon goes well with that comment.
browntiga 0
**** ya leave the pics where the were and have some fun :P
nmsm 1
why would he leave something like that in his yard. weirdo.
kendallhi 9
it's a hint
ImaWiseGuy 5
at least it's trash with money shots all over them...
beccusmaximus 0
Holy ******* shit, it's Trogdor.
beccusmaximus 0
Holy ******* shit, it's Trogdor.
beccusmaximus 0
Holy ******* shit, it's Trogdor.
lendalynn 5
at least he gotta a better view while he was working........
chaywood13 0
That just makes everyone's day, right?
CEG3 0
A mans gotta have his porno, especially in Texas
sailorzoe 14
We have the hottest chicks in America in Texas. You sir, are retarded.
dtbomb 3
Nope Texas does not have the hottest chicks sorry.
Person1233 13
*looks at 17's profile picture* Yeah, they need their ****.
kemmons88 0
unless your in to tattooed ugly bitches.
kruzito 0
The bible is **** in texas. the pb is just beyond me.
Freeze_fml 17
It's hot in Texas.
Agiggleaday 0
Ironic that the first thing Sailor says on her profile is don't judge my tats xD.
CompettiveCheer 0
#28,61, Shut up? 17 is not ugly, and I'm from Texas. Thats offending. And we have some of the most beautiful girls here in Texas. And the prettiest NFL cheerleaders, Dallas Cowboy cherrleading. Js.
CompettiveCheer 0
Cheerleaders.**
Rico_Mal1116 0
17- if your fiancée is a "master mechanic for BMW, you wouldn't be living in Texas... The master mechanics would be sent to Florida to be trained and sent to one of their factories.
bambootay 0
hey! Texas girls are hot :)
Rico_Mal1116 0
The hottest chicks in America are probably in California. Just saying.
shift_love 13
78 being a master tech doesn't always necessitate being at a plant. master techs or the shop leads are the guys with the most ase's and factory training. therefore the most qualified to work on certain models. similar to the Nissan master techs that are the only ones aloud to work on the Gtr and leaf.
CompettiveCheer 0
Guys= Judgemental assholes.
Agiggleaday 0
I honestly don't think cheer is a sport. soccer however is where its at ;)
CompettiveCheer 0
Honestly no one gives two *****.^
Agiggleaday 0
Calm down child
hellogoodbye1996 6
in Texas there's steers and queers but I don't see any cows. lmao
CEG3 0
By the way to everyone, I wasn't trying to say that women in Texas are ugly from my first comment, honestly.
CompettiveCheer 0
^
hellogoodbye1996 6
106- when you go to set your birthday set it as 12 and it will jump back a number to 11 it did that to me too.
CompettiveCheer 0
Most of you probably have never been to Texas, and it's a great place.
hellogoodbye1996 6
112-you shouldn't assume things. I have been to texas. it's hot, humid, and muddy. it pretty much sucks.
sailorzoe 14
You guys are seriously retarded. We spent six months in Arizona for the STEP program and now he works out of the BMW dealership in Austin you ignorant ass. Before you small minded people open your mouth, do me a favor and shoot yourself.
ahole123 0
95 = ignorant, stereotyping asshole
MurphyS94 4
Ok, you guys all need to calm down. 17 is pretty, Texas has the same amount of hot chicks as any other state, and why was there a spat about cheerleading? All of this is kind of silly to be arguing about.
19eightyeight 4
17 is ugly as ****. just another typical angsty "I-am-so-******-hardcore-i-don't-give-a-shit-bout-how-e-world-judges-me-and-I-can-survive-alone-in-this-world-with-my-19-year-old-fiancé-and-we're-gonna-last-forever.-****-cash-****-jobs-and-****-school.-that's-how-punk-rock-I-am." teen. I'm just saying.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Do I hear cat fight? ^.^
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
Holy shit CEG3 just started a whole fight on this thread! stop arguing its a website/app you dont need to prove your points no matter how retarded other people are. btw 17 you arent really a looker yourself)
jess6blondie9 3
131; You have no room to talk about someone's appearance when you don't have enough balls to put a picture of your actual face. 17; You're actually not ugly at all. Don't listen to all of these ass holes.
alex6946 10
omg wow yall are actually fighting about texas!? dont call 17 ugly, thats disrespectful, and none of yall have seen EVERY girl in texas so you cant say theres no pretty chicks, and whoever said cheerleading isnt a sport needs to shut up, those girls work their asses off! everybody needs to shut up about other states, nobody gives a damn.
19eightyeight 4
dear 137, what has my lack of a photo of myself have to do with balls? if that is how this works, u don't have e balls to send me pics of your ****! does it work this way? hmm. :) yours sincerely 19eightyeight
Rico_Mal1116 0
Do I hear cat fight?? ^.^
dtbomb 3
Did you at least put them back together and whack off.
Strkillz561 0
lmao that would be some dedication
samiam666 0
if he spent all that time to put it back together, he has some issues if he didnt.
omgcookeys 15
they could have just ran over it a couple more times, scooped it up, and either buried it or threw it away...
317theterrible 0
did you put it all back together?
317theterrible 0
didnt see four's comment
317theterrible 0
didnt see four's comment
m0rgana 0
actually it's five
Beebow_fml 5
It was a fap trap.
TalkinSmack 6
how did u not see it before u ran it over?
ImaginaryFoe 1
Exactly. Why should you get paid extra to fix your own mistake?
ColdplaySucks 18
If grass is tall enough, it can conceal something quite well until you go over it with the mower.
DrDreTheChronic 0
it shouldv been easy they woulda stoodout with the lotion in it
AnimalLover1031 8
Did you get any enjoyment out of it ?
fmlsaves 0
hah bet he was all excited every time he found a piece of boob! on a side note animalover, you kinda look like Angelina Jolie.
AnimalLover1031 8
Thanks Ive been told :) . And probably but he makes it seem like such a torture