Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML
Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.
tintin1 0
Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.
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Comments (669)
MissAlli 0
Scumbag.
perdix 31
Plus, you probably missed out on the hot girl-on-girl action that ensued as your ex-girlfriends tried to console each other. If you were clever, you could have had a three-way and happy happy sacks.
XxToriwolfxX 0
I didn't miss it, that's for sure.
wadthe 1
you bloody son of a bitch be happy that you only have one ******** that's hurt if I were them I'll make sure that I whack both testicles till they stop functioning
kangaru1 0
I know right! and all the bad names in the world wouldn't even close to define this guy's character.
EvilLilCupcake 10
ooo I likey the way you think :D I would have done the same thing! no future for him mwahaha >:)
brookie063 5
good for them. I probably would've done much worse to you. you completely deserved it ass hole
larisonr 4
Man. Seriously, **** you op.
meredithxjane 0
you're lucky you still have testicles. and a penis, and eyeballs.
Zapzip2013 0
YOU ******* DESERVE IT BASTARD!
TheNewGuy03 29
************, they shoulda ****** up your right ******** too. are you ******* dense? |the kid|
anorexicbarbie 8
You remind me of Sgt. Doakes from Dexter. :-p
TheNewGuy03 29
oh yeah?? :D |the kid|
Shadow_Phantom 26
FYL dude, but, really? Unless you're in an open relationship, don't sleep around with other people. YDI.
muchagente 5
i guess they didn't know about each other, right? still, i can't help thinking it's kind of sexist... i mean, women have no balls to kick them into when they cheat. we should agree on a ballpeace. else it's not fair.
cetlawizard 15
women can still get "**** punted" & best case....2 weeks painful peeing, worst case....hospital for a catheter just to be able to pee &/or maybe a broken pelvis.
TheDrifter 24
No, best case is that she barely notices and you lose a shoe... but that's a whole different fetish site.