Today, my girlfriend decided that having OCD will help her lose weight. She is now convinced that walking in and out of doorways multiple times will burn fat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML
Today, my flatmate has gotten so obese that she's breaking through the solid wood floors just by walking barefoot. She refuses to diet, and we're never getting our deposit back on this place. FML
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML
Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that she always feels like shit, and that she's tried "everything" to feel better. Everything except eating regular healthy meals, exercising, sleeping regularly, drinking water, showering, and changing clothes daily, that is. I pointed this out, and she kicked me out in a rage. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
skittlesmeep 4
Tell her sex would burn more calories.
Barr3lR0ll 9
It will, but nowhere near the amount she wants.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
mechagloomy 2
You should break up with her. =P
xXwolflegionXx 8
Why? It's not like she did anything wrong.
xlorawrz 9
Yes, that's a fantastic solution.
thawny_fml 21
Well it's worked for burning brain cells thus far.
sexaaydino 14
Aww that's mean, you shouldn't break up with a girl just for that. I wonder, with your way of thinking, how your love life will be..
Screwie 25
All she needs is a door that doesn't work, so she can sweat some fixing it.
mollymayan 3
Amen to this comment, omg.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
23 thank you for giving me fap material for the next 3 weeks
With_Love929 3
^^ dude. That girl's 17. You have to be at least in your 20's or 30's so that's just pathetically disgusting. And if you're not that's STILL pathetically disgusting!
Brool_Story_Co 17
1- Breaking up with someone is not the solution for every relationship problem.
MrCatman1125 2
Well walking does burn fat...
megaboo310 4
Okay FYI I have OCD and just because we have habits of doing possibly strange things doesn't mean it's wrong. He probably excepts her that's why there dating in the first place.
kewlkate 9
107- You're obviously not OCD when it comes to grammar, so what areas ARE you OCD in, just curious.
beachyballerina 12
No
Aspen_Grace33 27
It could if she did it for hours on end, but let's hope her OCD isn't that bad!
emilyjgraham 34
I don't think she actually has OCD, it sounds a bit like she decided to develop the disorder, which is a bit abnormal if you ask me.
annie_nk 23
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who read it that way.
Aspen_Grace33 27
I agree. A lot of people today, with the help of webMD, develop "disorders" or think they are sick when they truly aren't. Maybe she needs help?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It could if the doorway was 200 metres long...
Klefhomacked 11
Seems like she just self diagnosed herself. A lot of people seem to be doing this.
Senseless_487 29
I dunno. Any time I go to webMD and put in my symptoms, the result is either AIDS or cancer.
Barr3lR0ll 9
It will, but nowhere near the amount she wants.
Redoxx_fml 22
Women...
pokefan813 16
40 - what about them?
gracehi 33
Women... have vaginas.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Correction: Women have ovaries.
SomeRussianGirl 3
Why is it a FYL because she as OCD and she's trying to think Positive?
skyttlz 32
I don't think she truly has it.
randii_17 11
At least she is trying to get in shape? (trying to be positive here...)
skittlesmeep 4
Tell her sex would burn more calories.
saransh 3
In and out continuously multiple times does burns fat. But she is doing it wrong.
sexaaydino 14
And the good thing is, that it's actually true :)
Enslaved 38
"The old in-out" Now, I'm thinking about "A Clockwork Orange" quotes. :P
pinkredneck30 2
It burns calories and tones all in one. 30 mins to an hour a day will do so much more than just walking thru doorways!
zandalee 20
And be soooo much more fun!!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Sex in the doorway will burn EVEN MORE calories to her!! ;)
JoeRogansBEARD 15
31 you mean I have to have sex 12 times a day???
jmaurm 6
61 I feel sorry for you if you can only go for 5 minutes at a time
thatguy8878 14
Giggity
spacemanspiff78 7
Technically it will. Doing anything burns fat, including chewing gum and laughing- and yes, even walking through a door multiple times. Annoying as hell I'm sure, but pick your battles.
emilyjgraham 34
You'd think she'd choose something simpler though, she'll go crazy surely!
thiscrazything 1
Too late.
Redoxx_fml 22
She's just using it as an excuse to not go to the gym
your_face 15
13 - I don't think she chose this behavior. I think she walks through multiple doors because she has OCD, and just came up with the idea that it would help her burn fat as well.
AndriaLeeB 5
75- I don't think she does. It sounds like she just up and decided to have OCD, at least how I read it.
Iknoweverything 29
Tell her that banging her head against the wall repeatedly will burn 150 calories an hour. Maybe she'll knock some sense into herself.
deadphoenix 0
I agree with this!!!!!
evildemonchild 18
LMFAO! I agree with this :3
laurenlovesjb 20
Yes it will, but not enough to make her lose 10 lbs in a month! Tell her real dieting will work better, or just maybe some exercising in the bedroom will do the trick:)
The_F3rris 11
Any advice from a justin bieber fan is invalid
pokefan813 16
But advice from a Pokemon fan is A-ok! ;D
onlychildFTW 34
Who cares if 7 like Justin bieber. Everyone liked there own thing and that makes the world interesting. And OP, tell her sex will burn a lot more fat then walking through doorways. And it's even the truth.
TallMist 32
#51 please do tell how just because someone has an opinion different from yours that automatically makes what they say incorrectly. Because, last I checked, it is only an opinion. Not something that decides if a person is worthless or not.
TallMist 32
You guys can thumb me down, but that doesnt make it any less true.
howrudoin 11
Well to be quite honest any type of body movement in some way burns calories so she's not completely wrong lol.
annie_nk 23
She decided to "get" OCD? That's how it sounded. To me at least.
ygdrassil 17
I read it that way, too. What is she thinking, she'll get someone with OCD to sneeze on her like it's the flu?
holeyman 8
Reminds of the south park episode where cartman gets Tourette's
mdds 2
my thought exactly. oh well if she doesn't have it she will fail at two things, weight loss and making herself have OCD.
gingerfly91 1
Oh no!! Those are the in betweens... Trolls can get her when she's in the doorways!
Myo_fml 20
Where else did that come from? I only remember seeing that on Charmed.