Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both Myspace and Facebook before saying to me that he was, "too busy to have sex." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML
Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
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Top comments
girlpenguin 0
I never understood why girls could "not be in the mood for sex" but as soon as a guy doesn't want to do it, he's labeled as gay. Friggin sexist right there.
happycupcake 0
haha- i like that the op included the bf feeding his cat as though it's as frivolous an activity as updating myspace. i get that he was probably making excuses and that sucks but no matter how busy you are, you still have to feed your pets. fluffy shouldn't starve because you have errands to run. in addition to that, i feel i should point out that maybe he really was stressed/busy. that is not a good starting point for a fulfilling sex session, which takes a lot more time than updating a status, i would hope...
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Comments (125)
sourgirl101 29
Wow guys take notes. Girls take it very personal when you turn them down for sex. Sometimes people are just not in the "mood" but good luck making her think it's not because of her.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
sorry, but that's her problem, not his. women should lern allready that "just showing up" doesn't always cut it.
Rashkavar 0
So next time my girlfriend "has a headache," I should post the gender reversed version on FML? Men aren't ******, girl. We have moods too, and some of them exclude the desire for sex.
HeXr 22
wrong, a penis is just a ***** with a man attached and is therefore less practical :-P
Invierno 10
@78 LMFAO! I wouldn't say that about my boyfriend, but hilarious!
Rashkavar 0
lol, HeX. We also have a tendency to move of our own accord, which makes things less practical...most of the time. Occasionally one of us figures out what we're doing, though, then things become more awesome than before.
bittersweet1 0
Guys don't always want it until you make them want it. try harder next time.
HeXr 22
he's gay so you should break up with him since he just wants a hard **** inside of his anus
jesslovesderrick 0
ha.sounds like he was pretty busy to me. loll(:
jodashi11 0
maby you asked wrong maby you should have asked him if he wanted a bj?
hassenpfeffermmm 0
You're mad because your boyfriend fed his cat? You don't deserve sex with a kind man like that.
cutie_5647 0
too busy or sex?!!! are you kiddin me?
girlpenguin 0
I never understood why girls could "not be in the mood for sex" but as soon as a guy doesn't want to do it, he's labeled as gay. Friggin sexist right there.
ravesterrr 0
How can a guy not be in the mood for sex? I'm a girl andi'm always in the mood. Somethings wrong with this.