Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I woke up, got out of bed, but I didn’t notice the dog right next to my bed and accidentally kicked her. All the treats, apologies, and attempted pets in the world won’t help. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
When you tickle someone you have to be prepared for the consequences...
HappyItalian 38
Is your girlfriend that hairy?
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Comments (55)
devildog562 33
I think this has been asked but why is your girlfriends face next to your feet? Sucks for your girlfriend .
mete_orito 34
I think they were sleeping face facing toes for a special reason, like.... 69?
devildog562 33
Brings a whole new meaning to sleep eating ...
itwontvalidate 18
never push your dog away, it loves you more than your girlfriend ever will!!!
Polynomial 28
Okay, Billy. No sex though, but it could help you pick up chicks.
truecommenter 7
I hope you had anal to make her feel better
nikojhavlin 12
I find it strange your girlfriend was at your feet
Khaleesi_26 30
It's not completely strange. His girlfriend could just move around a lot in her sleep. I will go to sleep sometimes facing north and wake up facing south.
sleepyglowstar 32
She deserved it more like
charissaoz 7
Just apologise, don't see how your life is ******.
mete_orito 34
Unless he broke her nose...whoops!
trtnt25 19
Was she licking your foot and you thought it was your dog's nose or something?
ostfaiz 18
naah! he just elaborated the pythgorus theorem .lol
ostfaiz 18
ohh..poor girl. FYL op!
travismassie 7
looks like you and the dog will be rooming together for awhile
tbro47 23
She just wanted to help bury his bone