Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I woke up, got out of bed, but I didn’t notice the dog right next to my bed and accidentally kicked her. All the treats, apologies, and attempted pets in the world won’t help. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
When you tickle someone you have to be prepared for the consequences...
HappyItalian 38
Is your girlfriend that hairy?
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Comments (55)
vikky538 29
foot fetish...
sleeping_amber 3
Why the **** was your girlfriend down by your feet?
Allegory_fml 4
so you weren't actually woken up by your dog touching your foot.
chazzywazzy654 22
I'm wondering what sort of person refers to their dog as "it" rather than he or she?
Axel5238 29
I'm wondering why most people's first response is to move it away with there leg when they aren't paying attention instead of just moving the pet with their hands. Also be aware of how much force you are using.
mattyiscool123 26
Your girlfriend must have weird hands
MadiSmileHappy 4
that's terrible but this made me laugh so hard???
YellowKettleBell 31
are you asking us??
natassjad 22
Why was she by your feet
TheDoctor10 28
Do you still have a girlfriend?
buttersmom 14
Wait why was your girlfriend's face by your foot?