Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having a beautiful lucid dream when a telemarketer called at 5AM, waking me up. I silenced my phone and went back to sleep, and was somehow able to resume my lucid dream. Then my phone vibrated me awake. It was the same telemarketer, this time calling at 7AM. FML
Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap to a weird buzzing sound in my ear. Panicked, I swatted at my ear to get rid of what I thought was a fly. Instead, I hit my phone, which was on vibrate, and it fell on the tiled floor, spinning the screen into a cracked, shattered mess. FML
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
rukusrazor 0
Get a cover for that fan, or you will Final Destination yourself.
theoffkid 0
PHANTOM PHONE SYNDROME!
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Comments (70)
ILoveJace01 0
Omg that sucks. Sorry. Lol number 5.
spillproof 0
I'm sorry, but #17 is not crazy. You do not have to be a med student to know what s/he is talking about is true. I guess you others have never had a bruise before.
funsize003 0
Haha I've totally done something like this, multiple times. Once I woke up cause I thought I heard someone say my name, saw a shadow on the wall, freaked out, and rolled out of bed smashing my head onto my nightstand. Yup, fail.
ShelbyG 0
Baha. Remindes me of the time me and my friend were sleeping on her mattress on the floor and she had a fan (with the cover off) at the end of the bed we both woke up in the dark to a fan nearly chopping out toes off.....It hurt like hell.
xoskyelovexo 0
you have got to admit that is pretty funny :D but i'm sorry
Hunter329 0
Dude that's funny, I ain't gonna lie. Happens to me all the time tho.
wbrycem 0
I just wake up and think I've missed an appointment or am late for work or slept through a midterm, only to find out that my alarm doesn't go off for like 4 more hours or it's like 2 in the morning. Or, this morning, when my alarm went off, I had no idea what was going on and I thought I slept through class, when it didn't even start for another hour. It usually happens when I'm super tired ... I become mad disoriented when I wake up for no reason at all.
southpaw117 1
I used to have text message conversations in the morning with my girlfriend, but the first half of it was just me dreaming. At some point in the conversation I'd get confused by her sudden change of topic, notifying me to wake up. Then I would check my messages and see that she's only sent one, the one that woke me up. Which was good because half the time I was dreaming about it, we'd end up getting into fights. Waking up to a non-existant fight was always relieving.
carash_fml 0
HAHAHA that's ******* priceless!!
ephilation 0
Dreamt. You dreamt yourself awake.