Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having a beautiful lucid dream when a telemarketer called at 5AM, waking me up. I silenced my phone and went back to sleep, and was somehow able to resume my lucid dream. Then my phone vibrated me awake. It was the same telemarketer, this time calling at 7AM. FML
Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap to a weird buzzing sound in my ear. Panicked, I swatted at my ear to get rid of what I thought was a fly. Instead, I hit my phone, which was on vibrate, and it fell on the tiled floor, spinning the screen into a cracked, shattered mess. FML
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rukusrazor 0
Get a cover for that fan, or you will Final Destination yourself.
theoffkid 0
PHANTOM PHONE SYNDROME!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
Manda777 0
lmao... haha i think ive done that before too... i also always imagine hearing the vibrate from getting a text.... and i'm not the only one that does that. half my friends will admit to it too...
speedydrumstix 0
hahahah so done this before.
slinkiess 0
haha FYL. i did that by dreaming there was a five-foot bee in front of me and ran screaming to my brother's room.
likeduhhx4 0
honestly, i do that all the time. or my phone will go off and then after it stops i think it's still ringing.
jessxoxo28 5
LOL!!! i do that all the time
briana83 0
I hate when crap like that happens! The other morning I woke up in a panic because I heard birds chirping outside so I thought I was late for work (I had to be at work at 5:30am so I assumed it was around 7 or so if birds were chirping). Turns out it was only 2:30am. Stupid fucktard birds were wide awake at 2am! (although I didn't imagine the birds, I can still relate to the groggy unawarenes of what is really going on. And I'm pretty sure I imagined I saw sunlight for a second)
padfoot_fml 0
My dad did something like that. He was dreaming that a steamroller was going to run him over so he dove out of the way, apparently he got up and dove out of the bed into his night stand and got a black eye
givants 0
vivid dreams rule!!!! but not like the one you had, i mean the good kind of dreams
member0987654321 0
omg that's so creepy.. i have weird dreams like that all the time
that_funny_girl 0
I love you #5