Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having a beautiful lucid dream when a telemarketer called at 5AM, waking me up. I silenced my phone and went back to sleep, and was somehow able to resume my lucid dream. Then my phone vibrated me awake. It was the same telemarketer, this time calling at 7AM. FML
Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap to a weird buzzing sound in my ear. Panicked, I swatted at my ear to get rid of what I thought was a fly. Instead, I hit my phone, which was on vibrate, and it fell on the tiled floor, spinning the screen into a cracked, shattered mess. FML
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
rukusrazor 0
Get a cover for that fan, or you will Final Destination yourself.
theoffkid 0
PHANTOM PHONE SYNDROME!
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Comments (70)
elliekinslurvsya 0
haha
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
That's happened to me so many times that it's not even funny. Although it REALLY sucks when you dream that you had already gotten ready that morning, and then you wake up and have to do it all over again. Screw that. Fyl. #9/fatfaceunited: 2AM: In the morning. Not 2PM: In the afternoon.
24788 7
Getting some of that DMT. It's an amazing drug.
pappy1193 0
I hate waking up early and seeing that I have 5 or so minutes until my alarm goes off. Then I go back to sleep and it feels like 3 seconds. That really sucks. FYL.
jSOPURE 3
Dreams FTL. :(
genius_man16 1
How do you manage to do that? FYL for being weird and waking yourself up like that.
kingbeau 0
You can leave a grate shaped "red mark" (not sure the technical term), but you can't leave a grate shaped bruise because the definition of bruising is internal bleeding from ruptured capillaries under the skin... A fan grates bars are too close together and assuming the fan was on a shelf near ceiling height and you yanked it as hard as you would have to to actually GET a bruise from it, it would leave a diffuse bruise pretty much like any other. The rest is reasonable, but the bruise smells of embellishment...
kpo216 0
hey doctor ****** shut the **** up.#17
youaresofucked 0
yeah, TURN IT OFF at night. tut. YDI
darkmis1 18
9: it wuz 2 am 17: we're not all med students here-u don't have to make such a big deal over 2 words OP: that sux-that's y I turn off my fone at nite.
EatATree 0
LOL I hate it when that happens ...^^...