Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
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Top comments
Aera_fml 0
Argh. I hate spiders SO much. I usually am the one people go to, though. Anyways, her father obviously doesn't trust you much. Poor you. ~_~
Pitaace 0
at least he didn't shoot you
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Comments (172)
teh_ass 0
You deserved it for getting a girlfriend that's scared of spiders. And why didn't you kill it before she started screaming her head off? I bet you sneaked in as well. FAIL.
sameer3 1
way to prove your username, ass.
TryToBeKind 0
For future reference, since it wouldn't be fair to dump her b/c of her daddy: I would stay out of your gf's room if she lives with her parents - at least in their line of sight and earshot. Help them out with shit around the house (cleaning/fixing etc - wahtever you can offer). For now: a) are you a minor? That would be battery on his part and it's worse if you're a minor b) at any rate, in his house he should be paying for that, I hope he has good insurance; if you aimed to hurt him, I could see self-defense but you didn't. Just wondering: if Daddy didn't know who you were, how were you in his house if he's that concerned? a) he should have been paying more attention to who was in his house and daughter's room and b) please get to know your future s.o.'s family before you're alone with him/her, OK?
MaddieMonster 0
#32- yup that's why locks were invented, good point indeed. All I'm saying is that I'm getting tired of the "Me and my g/bf were in my room. Then my parent walked in." FML's. Even when i occasionally moderate i find more original stories.
slim99 0
The poster didnt say they were having sex
tiltwrestler 0
YDI for not porking your girlfriend when you guys are in the bedroom When is the world going to realize that nice guys finish last... and sometimes get giant welts on their head from baseball bats? Tsk, tsk
GrapefruitZoe 0
Um, why is everyone thinking things that aren't said? Here's what I got: I was with my girlfriend in her room. (No sex or other things are mentioned.) She starts screaming. Her dad--knowing the boyfriend is in her room and not knowing him all that well and also being protective of his kid--bursts in and whacks whoever is in the room that isn't his daughter. Stupid, yes, of people to hit first and ask questions later. The OP isn't at fault here, and I don't think he was being bad.
magoojr09 0
Hey I moderated this one, and yea that sucks
caramelfinger 0
that was the spider's plan all along... lol
GrapefruitZoe 0
Today, I was surprised by a spider on the wall. I started screaming because I've had really bad experiences with spiders. Then my dad came in and bashed my boyfriend's head in with a bat. Still not sure why. FHL
MaddieMonster 0
I love how we all pick over these things, ah what technology has done to us