Fast turnover
Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement, to the whole family. FML
Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement, to the whole family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father publicly announced his engagement to his new girlfriend. My mom passed away not even eight months ago. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's mother's funeral. His step-sister proudly announced that she's pregnant with his baby and they are engaged. FML
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Today, I decided I would tell my mom I'm not going to marry my fiancé because it just didn't feel right, only to walk into my own surprise engagement party. FML
Today, my fiancé told me he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, it's mine and wife's one-year anniversary. After only being married for a year, I quickly understood what her father really meant when he said, "Your problem now" and chuckled at our wedding. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I was going to record a song I wrote for my dad, who I haven't spoke to in a couple of years. After getting things together, I called my mom to let her know I'd be doing this. She informed me he died. A year ago. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
Go to his fiancé when he's not around, say "you know, it's the anniversary of my moms death today, and he doesn't seem to care... Try imagining how much he really cares for you. If you think that's a lot, just think, when you die, he'll care just as much." And walk away. Let that thought sink in :P
Bree12345 15
Very inconsiderate
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Comments (135)
Bree12345 15
Very inconsiderate
mellajella 14
I don't particularly think it is. I mean, it's obvious he planned it for one reason or another. But maybe it was his way to say he was done grieving and to accept it and move on in the one year mark. I know OP might still be grieving and that is why OP feels it was disrespectful (which is totally fine and justified to think that way), but you have to also consider the fathers side.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
to grieve, find someone new, get to know them, then get engage to them all in a years time is WAY too fast, inconsiderable, and disrespect to the family and even your previous passed spouse because that just shows they didn't mean that much to you and you can move on very quickly without the death really affecting you. I don't know what your dad is thinking op, maybe he is in such denial and he's trying to survive whichever way he can find that makes him feel somewhat whole again.
cristy91 33
Whether he was done grieving is irrelevant, he announced it to people who clearly aren't done grieving. And guess what? A year is a very short amount of time to overcome the loss of a parent. Totally irresponsible and uncaring on his part.
mellajella 14
75 - so how long is an appropriate time to grieve? The question's answer is entirely subjective. So, the dad is selfish for getting over it in a reasonable time, but the kids aren't selfish for wanting him not to get over it and to suffer for way over a year? It makes no sense. Everyone grieves differently and he may just not need to for as long. I'm sure the mother wouldn't want any of the family to suffer over her death for years and years.
mfmylifesrsly 30
88 - Obviously you have never lost someone close to you. You don't get over it in a year. Technically OPs dad got over it in less than a year since he was dating this woman before the one year mark. Although something tells me OPs dad isn't over his wife, he just can't stand to be alone and wants to have a woman fill the gap in his heart. Still, very inconsiderate doing it on the one year anniversary. Which anyone who has lost someone close knows is the hardest time.
ChopSuey444 20
The inconsiderate part of the timing is choosing to announce it on that particular day. Not necessarily the time frame it took him to move on. Even if it had been a few years, a person remembers the day they lost a loved one. Announcing your new engagement on that day after ANY length of time would be inconsiderate of your children's feelings
mellajella 14
88 - I lost a close uncle to suicide. So yes, I actually do know what it's like. It sucks more than anything else you can deal with but eventually you realize that being sad 24/7 isn't what they would want and there's nothing you can do to change the reality of what happened. Only to move forward. Maybe that's why I can relate to the dad more than you can. I'm not denying the fact that it was disrespectful to others who are still grieving. I said that in my first post. I'm just looking at it from the dad's perspective.
kittycatdex 8
what if her mom was sick for a long time and mom told dad not to stay alone? it never said mom died suddenly... still, it's not the best way but maybe he was also nervous about telling OP and nessed it up because of it...
barnacles 2
it's not about grieving and getting over. It is about announcing on the same day as the death anniversary. Now come on! Maybe the dad wasn't the kind who could deal with loneliness and it's perfectly okay but his dick move was to announce it the same day.
kbecks87 16
75, if the mother passed from a prolonged sickness or something of the like, the grieving process could have started months or even years before the actual death.
Zebediabolical 45
I agree. It was inappropriate and maybe even a dick move. But that doesn't call for this level of response. This is basically firing a torpedo with the specific intent to sink their relationship. And that is one hundred percent uncalled for.
DeathBunny8 9
That's assuming the parents were together. They could have been separated long before she passed. His announcing it on that day may have been a way to try to get the family to focus on something less depressing.
Secret_Ninjaa 35
Aw, I'm sorry OP. :/
xsydneyx123 28
That's messed up. I'm sorry to hear about that. My condolences to you for your mother's passing and your father's ignorance. How in the world are people pressing the YDI button??
foxmatrix15 8
There called trolls. They do it while in a ignorant state of mind just to see how many people will beat the FYL counter. In RL if they did this in person they would be subject to social outkast. It's never ending.
EvilTurtle 35
#18, orrrrrr they might've accidentally pressed the YDI button
JustinJK 21
Yeah. I've accidentally hit the ydi button. 6'4 big man hands problems. fat thumbs lol
Araj_Hs 19
Some people have a habit of doing it. They do not think & just do it. It is in a very smaller ratio tho, so its fine. This world has more stupids than that!
fastnachter 15
Some also view it as a thumb down, like a traditional voting system. They read the FML, don't like something about it, hit ydi and keep scrolling.
johnrdz3 24
I just vote so i know which FMLs I've read
RayneSmytson 24
I do that too. I want to acknowledge I've read it but don't feel either way. But in that case, I press both buttons.
knoxxx 22
I've also misread FML's and thought it said something that it didn't, and then realized after I had already hit YDI. I vote FML after to try and make up for it a little.
AmandaBatton0210 8
I accidentally hit it. I feel awful about it.
Laylette 21
True, don't take it personally. A lot of people on her are just looking for the badges like "Judgemental: You've voted YDI 100 times!"
apitrix 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And he knows that marrying a corpse is against the law correct? Just kidding.. Awful timing for him to chose to announce such a thing! Keep your head up OP!
SweetasCandy0609 28
Wow #4 you're just as inconsiderate as OP'S dad, that's not something to joke about.
Flaming_Pandas 15
#4 Speaking of awful timing...
apitrix 24
Looking back, I probably shouldn't have made such a cruel joke, it was more in regards to not saying something along the lines of "got engaged to his new fiancé." But yeah my Apologies, something's should not be joked about..
Clevelandians 17
**** that. I loved the joke. People get so butthurt
bombielol 20
That is so cold of your dad to do, I'm really sorry ):
brookenicolee29 27
You'd think he could wait a little bit to break the news..
cutycat136 28
Go to his fiancé when he's not around, say "you know, it's the anniversary of my moms death today, and he doesn't seem to care... Try imagining how much he really cares for you. If you think that's a lot, just think, when you die, he'll care just as much." And walk away. Let that thought sink in :P
assassinbanana0 20
It's not the fiancé's fault her dad was inconsiderate.
thatguynamedsky 32
why? she had nothing to do with it
cutycat136 28
Maybe not, but it would get the attention of the fiancé and she might say something to him about what that day was and why he would do that :P
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe, but you're more likely to end up alienating both of them, if not out of anger, then out of her humiliation.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#11, #7 isn't trying to say it's the fiancé's fault or anything like that I think she is just trying to say that if he could be so careless to make an announcement like that on the anniversary of OP'S mothers death a women he shared a child with them how much more is he going to care about her.
thatguynamedsky 32
yeah but all I see this doing is adding tension to a perfectly fine relationship, to me, it just sounds destructive, and reading into the father a little much.
cutycat136 28
#11/51, it is a bit destructive, but if you think about it, she's the daughter, it was her mother that died, was a grieving time for her on that day and her father made an announcement that he was with another woman and was engaged to her. The daughter has a right to be upset and cause destruction if she wishes. I wouldn't be so pleased either if something like that happened to my family.
R3TROxLOV3 32
7, what if the parents were divorced when the mother passed? At that point, he wouldn't really owe her anything.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#51 how could you possibly think that it's a "perfectly fine" relationship when he didn't even think to take his daughter into consideration when he announced that he was engaged on the anniversary of OP'S mom's death, I agree with #7 I think that OP should say something she has every right to be upset with her dad.
thatguynamedsky 32
I agree, his timing was inappropriate, how ever, moving on is a big step in grieving, and the dad is doing just that. I would be a bit upset in the same position, but I couldn't see myself ruining my father's happiness (but whatever that's my opinion I'm out)
Zebediabolical 45
So because OP's dad does something inconsiderate in OP's opinion, OP should fire back with something vicious and hateful? Wow.
batty827 13
No, but it wouldn't be entirely unfair to let her know the kind of person she's marrying... She might not want to marry someone that blasé about such things...
DoomedGemini 38
No, op has the right to be upset. Causing destruction would make her a bitch. While it might be okay to let her know what day it is, putting doubt or trying to ruin their relationship would make her just as bad as the father. He should have waited to announce it, but perhaps he was trying to put give good news, oblivious to the pain it caused. Whatever the reason OP has no right to try to destroy some one else's relationship, family or not.
rmllavaneras 19
Damn, that's evil! I like it!
CaroAurelia 12
That's a little harsh. Unless the fiancée was the mistress and knew she was the mistress, it's really not her fault her betrothed is a clod. I would find a nicer way to warn her.
Mr23 9
There is no direct indication of this in the FML, but statistically the fiancee might not be too worried about what he will say at her funeral, If you catch my drift.
LastResort318 14
You don't cause destruction no matter what.
Octwo 16
Attempting to sabotage someone's relationship as revenge for an inappropriate announcement is extremely childish. I would hope that the OP has more integrity than that. No one likes a manipulative sociopath.
dragonrider1959 18
Hold on, I don't think this little thing makes it justifiable to ruin his new marriage
suszyy 9
great timing pops -.-
Jake42100 17
Yea that's wasn't a smart idea he could have waited a week....
TheGolfGTI 24
Not only is that terribly inconsiderate, but that's a dick move, especially on a one year anniversary. You have my condolences OP.