Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
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Top comments
too_much_fun 0
Boyfriend: "Today, I was watching a movie with my girlfriend and she let out a horrible fart. She blamed my dog, Baxter. Baxter was outside at the moment. FML" Baxter: "Today, my owner's girlfriend let out a fart that was worse than mine. FML"
bman01 0
Women farting? This is absurd!
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Comments (118)
yes_yes_yes 0
ya'll are presuming OP is a girl! what if OP is GAY??? ;)
ForeverDanni 0
That's really funny!
jSOPURE 3
My ex-girlfriend used to fart in front of me. I didn't find it disgusting at all. :)
mk1o3o 0
step 1: locate the dog
emilyfree 0
bahaha youre dumb.
jSOPURE 3
My ex-girlfriend used to fart in front of me. I didn't find it disgusting at all. :)
arcturusvi 0
Who leaves a room for a fart? Just hold it in. And your boyfriend has a mom, he knows that chicks fart, usually resulting in worse than guys'.
Kitty34_fml 0
YDI for not realizing the dog wasn't in the room. You should try to be comfortable around your boyfriend. Farting isn't the most wonderful thing ever, but you should be able to do it infront of your boyfriend and vice versa. You can't hold it in forever!
TurtleLG 0
That was stupid!
alex_vik 1
#42 - 14 times a day? Apparently I'm going to die then, as I fart maybe 5-9 times a day, and that's only when I'm taking a shit.