Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADHD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML
Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
I thought Marge's blue pubes would help you get to the finish line.
MrHomerSimpson 11
Don't say that about my wife.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
nonelikeworms 0
Marge is pretty damn hot.
hemz_fml 13
****.
AnonymousTroll 2
Big hair.
KiddNYC1O 22
Hentai.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all......
perdix 31
I thought Marge's blue pubes would help you get to the finish line.
MrHomerSimpson 11
Don't say that about my wife.
BeefyQueef 5
It sure as hell helped me
BatteryAddict 11
55 - Win!
AceHigh 9
Ahhh Perdix, how we love you.
BeatlesObsessed 12
That's a good question, actually.
perdix 31
Jaundice.
holybuckets 0
I think the creator just wanted the Simpons to be easily distinguishable. If they were skin colored, they wouldn't be as awesome!
thisisafunnyname 12
its actually because the first time it was shown, the projector messed up the color and made them yellow.
Kayokku 1
ACTUALLY, it's because Matt Groening, the creator, thought it would be hilarious if people thought that something was wrong with the color on their TV and would start fiddling with the saturation, etc trying to get them back to a flesh color.
Calyx_fml 22
Hepatitis.
docscientist 10
Yeah, except as I remember, everything else had a normal color tone, so I didn't even think the color was off.
shadyjeyz 0
Beatlesobsessed..your cute. Whats your email?
Kayokku 1
So the Simpsons' pink house looked completely normal upon first seeing it. Mmkay.
jobsman99 0
Find some Simpsons **** online. Or find some regular ****. Better yet go to adult friend finder and find some cougar to suck and f*ck you for some NSA sex.
miserypoison 13
Thanks sexologist.
gabrielbaby 9
Creep.
zurisbloodyrose 0
NASA sex sounds like so much fun...
ZXDriver 0
Bet you heard Nelson laughing.
LifeOnBlast19 9
Ha-ha!
katydid91 31
But I said Ha-ha
cRaZy_BaTcH 5
Lmao!!!!!!!!
Buttsexpirate 9
Yellow, yellow, sounds like mellow! Mellow, mellow, when you're mellow you feel high, high! When you're high you do stupid things. Stupid, stupid like strip clubs! Stripper, strippers make me CUM! Problem solved curtesy of Nicolas Cage
RedMosquito 4
Cannot explain why Simpsons are yellow but I can explain why your balls are blue...
SookyTurner 4
Ftw!
schpanki 11
I have heard, from an interview, that they are yellow because the creators wanted the viewers to think their coulor settings were wrong. When simpsons first came out it was normal to have a tv like they, with a knob that changes the color filtering, and they wanted people to sit in front of the tv, screwing that knob to try and make the simpsons pink. The more you know!
VoteForTaco 8
Did you find out why they are yellow?
elmski87 0
It's because Matt Groening wanted them to stand out whilst people were channel hopping - to encourage people to stop on The Simpsons.
yahoowizard 16
Oh look, an ostrich
saIty 17
The real question here is... Why does Spongebob live in a pineapple under the sea?
eyeIoveyou 4
Or how Mr. Krab's daughter Pearl is a whale and he is a crab?
desireev 18
Mrs. Krab was obviously messing with the mailman..
ewputthataway 0
I just want to know how mermaid man lives down there when he's obviously not a mermaid.
Torva_fml 16
62- have you not seen the episode where they explain This?! Mermaid mans starfish on his nose allows him to breathe! Barnacle boy inhaled tons of barnacles that allow him to breathe..... Good job following the series... >.>
MistressCaitlyn 7
53- wouldn't that be the mailWHALE? *groan* even I know that was bad... feel free to thumbs down now. lol
VoteForTaco 8
-39 She's adopted duhh