Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADHD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
Today, my attention deficit has gotten so bad that I started watching Family Guy on YouTube to avoid doing any work, then ten seconds later I got bored, grabbed my phone, and looked up "sexy cartoon porn." FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML
Today, stress makes my ADHD skyrocket. I lost focus while rubbing one out and didn’t realize I forgot to finish while I was doing the dishes. When I went to my room to try to get the job done, I lost focus again and ended up doing laundry. Not exactly the load I had in mind. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I thought Marge's blue pubes would help you get to the finish line.
MrHomerSimpson 11
Don't say that about my wife.
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Comments (181)
MrSchneebly 5
Thanks to this FML i had to google this, i hope you are happy with yourself
ProhibitionRose 14
"We want a cure for ADHD! When do we want it?!...SQUIRREL!"
lies_ah 3
hahahahahaha lol!!! :)
alxkls 4
lol the only thing that could make this funnier if i actually saw someone saying that... and that someone was german.
carbontetra 14
Yes, cause this joke isn't getting old.
twitchtail 21
Obviously you guys don't understand that there is a difference between ADD and ADHD. I have ADD and it's awful. OP I hope you can get medicine for it, that's what I do.
MwahFMLS 6
Next time, think about why all the people on the Avatar movie are blue.. Or maybe the Smurfs.. Why ARE they blue?
cmyk 19
Smurfs are blue because their mums held their breath during the pregnancy, while popping little blue pills to keep em from growing. Everyone knows that!
Jonniii 10
Bad circulation.
docscientist 10
Because they're being force choked. That's what I would do if I ever had the displeasure of meeting a smurf.
ewputthataway 0
Maybe it's cold in smurfville.
SpeshulK 0
15: I read that in Peter griffens voice. Made it even better
1JDub 6
Dohhhhh!!!!
Ozma_fml 0
This is my new favourite FML ever lol.
Jonniii 10
Try watching **** and not the Simpsons? Works for me.
ItsYourMamaDoe 0
You mean ADHD..
Kog_Hiro 17
If we go by racial stereotype jokes, wouldn't they asian?
kateheartswaffle 0
19- That's sorta the point..
googlewtf 0
If ur hands can't to the job a pussy won't to bad the Simpsons are only a cartoon
Jonniii 10
They're a cartoon?! You've ruined my life.