Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend outside a bar, when a hand on my shoulder yanked me back. I screamed and turned to see my husband glaring at me, with his best friend behind him, recording us on his phone. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
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Top comments
Ligerie 0
Is wife code for "penis"?
Plumppotato 3
did you tell him that?
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Comments (242)
KittehKatt 0
... why would you date a woman, even in the 80s, when your gay ?
Tearmose 3
probably because he was in the closet at the time and using her as a beard?
mordecaiandrigby 26
#249, people aren't born knowing they're gay, it takes some time to figure it out... and OP, that guy's an idiot
Lexipop49 0
Gay fag is gay :-P
walkerellis 0
ydi for being gay
ryukensfj 5
awesome! now u can be a gay rich guy. just sue him and u will come out on top
igorwn 3
gay supporters are the ignorant one because they try to find every single excuse to let these people do something that everyone knows is completely wrong. typical gay supporter ; Omg what you gonna do their born thay way u cant change it ! well thats wrong because there is no single gene related to homosexuality..homosexuality is not predictable so u cant blame it on their genetics! another argument by gay supporter: animal engage in homosexual activity so it must be natural! well animals engage in cannibalism of their own species. does that mean we should each other? yeah great going you dumb igorant trying to justify somethin in any way possible. last comment so what if its 2010 some things were wrong 2000 years ago and they still are..so you guys are sayin since we are so modern next step is allowing pedophiles rapin childa because i mean we are modern we gotta let pedophiles enjoy their feeedom right its not their fault if they wanna engage in relations with little boys..liberals these days they make me laugh!
atticus41 0
you probably liked being manhandled.. ****.
cindayy77 0
last time I was with a guy was a month ago... that sucks u weren't with a girl for that long... and god that guys a douche
randomchic4 0
this is to all the narrowminded ***** who hate gays. there is NOTHING wrong with gay people!!! would you enjoy it if, everyday, someone made fun of you because of your beliefs? didn't think so. oh. and for all of you i've pointed this out to. the narrowminded ones, how can you call yourselves a Christian, or a religious person, if the first thing you do is judge someone because they're 'different'? oh. and this is all coming from a 15 year old girl. you adults should be ashamed.
LittleMissItalia 0
Damn.. crazy mofo.
Gela96 0
Tht mustve been gay