Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
mufc4everch 2
Why can't you stand bums?
tylersign 11
You just.. Hit him? I hope you had tons of personal information in the wallet, along with money. If so, you deserved it. Also, I hope your balls fall off.
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Comments (243)
the_enigma1019 1
It's nice you tried to help the guy. But always make sure whose wallet it is before you step in.
jmanh 6
Dang me sucky sucky
monkeyhead641 6
At least he wasn't the hobo with a shotgun
NorthernLights96 5
Do you have the 'Find My Wallet' app?
kirrra 11
let me get this straight,the only reason you help someone in need is if you get to smack someone you can't stand in the process? wow, don't you sound like an outstanding citizen! having a roof over your head and food in the fridge does not make you any better than anyone else. the only way karma can get justice now is by making you a bum for awhile, we'll see how long someone with your attitude lasts on the streets!
williamcarter93 13
I was on your side until I saw, "I can't stand bums." You better watch it, you don't know how quick you can lose what you have and end up one of those you hate
pink_diamond711 0
What makes you think you can hit anyone, let alone a bum. Just mind your business and leave them alone.
pagullarka 9
I don't think he should have minded his own business, just helped the wrong guy.
iloveursister 4
cant stand bums eh? u must be one of those people who has everything handed to them
katcot99 11
Crazy bastard...
daizttgg 9
Ur an ass, they're people just like you, but due to the economy and Job loss they've lost their homes
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I really hope someone steals you purse, and no one helps. And they empty your bank account. It's not people like the OP it's people like you. Cowards and spineless who don't help stop the evil in this country.