Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
mufc4everch 2
Why can't you stand bums?
tylersign 11
You just.. Hit him? I hope you had tons of personal information in the wallet, along with money. If so, you deserved it. Also, I hope your balls fall off.
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Comments (243)
aerogxt 7
You deserve it you arrogant self-centered American dream prick. I hope you become a bum and someone belts you right across the jaw too.
DrBlack 9
You so deserved this dude. I've been homeless a couple of times although I'd never see myself as a 'bum' (oh the joys of American slang). By this point life has already shat on you enough without needing some dick like you coming along.
patrickalamo 48
Stand your ground dude
JustJayJay 4
Arrogant tosspiece. It's not their fault, you should help them! It's people like you that keep them on the streets!
AgaveLoco 5
Ouch!!! Twice!
emILYissoocool 0
Whats wrong with bums??!? They're people too!
Siiw 8
YDI for hitting somebody because you don't like their kind of people. We have a word for that here.
love_me_electric 20
He hit him because he thought he was mugging someone. Can't anyone on this site ******* read?
DrBlack 9
Actually he infers that they were both 'bums' by the way he said 'the other one'. As well as the fact that OP also says "I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw" not 'He was trying to mug someone so I smacked him across the jaw'. I think it's you that can't read.
chels1994 11
Good for you. You don't know under what circumstances they became bums. I hope you become homeless at one point in your life.
NAAMxLOOS 11
'What the ****'s wrong with bums?' Can't you read? It says in the OP he was trying to steal a man's wallet, for gods sake.
chels1994 11
You're joking, right?
Socomsnake 11
Nice assumption there, dumbass.