Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
mufc4everch 2
Why can't you stand bums?
tylersign 11
You just.. Hit him? I hope you had tons of personal information in the wallet, along with money. If so, you deserved it. Also, I hope your balls fall off.
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Comments (243)
ImWhiteBoy_WhoRU 10
Better to just mind your own business. Especially when you don't know the whole story and have jumped to conclusions.
jillybee101 7
If I was that hobo I would've maced your ass.
1_awesome_1 4
Maybe he was borrowing the wallet! And then...decided to borrow yours too.
Megies89 0
Wow you do know that most "bums" aren't there by choice right... There's two that hang out on the local outdoor mall where I live and they are veterans... They have done way more then you have that's for sure...
hateevryone 15
Don't....get....involved!
MMAJUNKIE559 2
**** you
mrsmillsy 10
Apparently you shouldn't bother being nice in the USA... stink.
jillybee101 7
It I was that bum i would've maced your ass.
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, Let's gloss over your bum statement as it warrants attention only as a testament to your character, and skip straight to your level of awareness/reasoning. And wow. Whew. Seriously- wow. If lack of situational awareness were a power, you'd be an Alpha. Hell, let's even skip over the whole "this could have been a criminal routine of theirs" bit and get straight to the "why weren't you thinking" part of it. Never forget that good deeds never go unpunished. First, you live in Florida- haven't you seen the news in the past month? Assaulting people in this state can get you shot. Violence should ALWAYS be a last resort; our prisons are full of people with poor impulse control. The last thing you need is some crusading lawyer for civil rights to catch wind of something like this; it'd be 15 minutes of fame that aren't pretty. Second, we live in a world of pestilence. I'm not trying to go hypochondriac, but the example is poignant- shedding blood can lead to a wonderful new world of viral infections. All things considered, you got off light. It's an absurd new world; time to start thinking waaay ahead of your instinctive reactions if you intend to keep up. YDI.
SoultheWolf 19
Did you ever think maybe the "other" guy was robbing the bum? YDI for being a selfish ******. Not all bums are there by choice is right, but most are. You don't have to give them money if you don't want, neither does anyone else. Next time think before you act.