Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
mufc4everch 2
Why can't you stand bums?
tylersign 11
You just.. Hit him? I hope you had tons of personal information in the wallet, along with money. If so, you deserved it. Also, I hope your balls fall off.
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Comments (243)
lainzilla 14
You deserve it for being so judgmental. So sorry that sometimes you have to deal with people less fortunate than you.
superswagbro 7
It is sometimes their own fault they're homeless.
doctorhook86 25
103: And there's no way to know that by looking, not that it gives anybody the right to judge (and assault) somebody else.
jackassiddy 8
So you intervened only because you don't like bums AND you "smacked" him? I'm shocked the other guy was able to hit such a small target.
Jaoriprilj 17
Swish!
iheartstewie7 5
I am now officially afraid of hobos, old people, & random people on the street, thanks to all these "I got mugged FML's" Can't trust no one. Being a bastard is the way to go.
perdix 31
Trust me, the nut-punch and stolen wallet was a better outcome than the Everlasting Pee Hug.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
However, not as good as a free health inspection at the local public john.
perdix 31
Ssshhh, you didn't have to mention my guilty pleasure! I thought people were gradually going to forget that story, and I could get back to running my clinic again! Hey, those guys need the help, so it's win-win.
Tokyo_Atom 7
Are you retarded?
igive 29
no, even people with mental handicaps know better. OP was just predjudice and stupid and took the situation as an opportunity to attack the homeless man.
linkinpark98 24
You 'can't stand bums'? What's wrong with you? Bums are still humans. :P
erwilley18 5
I think OP is meaning a bum as somebody who steals or manipulates others for self advancement, not just homeless people.
metalwolf 17
55- Yep, unfrotunately the benchmark for being called human is quite low. Remember, Hitler isnt a monster, he is a human too.
docscientist 10
88- Hitler and bums, pretty poor comparison.
tony1891 22
how do you feel about bums now?
YoureJellyBro 5
Should have carried mace little girl.
c8750 2
^ OP got kneed in the balls. Don't think HE's a she
YoureJellyBro 5
No shit huh. I was being a smart ass since he likes to slap.
Herculesninja27 5
Hahaha better mind your own business next time
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
You walked right into their clever trap. A true example of teamwork and brotherhood if ever I've seen it. Makes me think that they met back up later and went on a hobo shopping spree with their hard day's earnings.
dominic1221 6
I read it like, the guy who kneed OP in the nuts was the real mugger and the homeless dude was a real victim. Not sure which one is true though, but your idea works. :D