Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
mufc4everch 2
Why can't you stand bums?
tylersign 11
You just.. Hit him? I hope you had tons of personal information in the wallet, along with money. If so, you deserved it. Also, I hope your balls fall off.
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Comments (243)
Calyx_fml 22
You are a true idiot. What if you split your knuckle open on his jaw? Now you've got HIV, Batman! Don't ever fight anyone if you don't have to.
sidviciousmum 3
Awwwww that sux !!!! Never help anyone agin! Lol
aw3som3sauc3 10
Stop. Just, please, for everyones sake, don't comment. And not that I am a grammar Nazi, but please, you can try a little harder than that...
HarleyJM 7
I concur, if you can't spell. GO TO SLEEP!
sidviciousmum 3
Awwwww that sux !!!! Never help anyone agin! Lol
bubo_fml 11
2 qts of T-bird tonite thanks to no nuts Joe!
eyecon502 13
And people wonder why so many others just pretend to ignore such situations.
JessieMongoose 11
Don't slap bums, you douche.
ELL10TT203 0
Dumb ****!!
talorylynn 4
It seems awfully high-minded to say you "can't stand bums." They're human beings in less fortunate places than the rest of us. They deserve our help as fellow humans, not our disdain. You deserve what you got and more.
sonnyrosa 32
That should teach you to mind your own damned business and not bother yourself with things that don't pertain to you.
sonnyrosa 32
I like you... well said taylorlynn, well said.