Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, I’m showering at a local firehouse. Why? Because our shower is broken and my dad refuses to fix it, or get someone to fix it for us. It’s been a year and a half since I've showered in my own home. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
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Top comments
duchessdoughnut 2
How about you don’t shit in the shower? That’s ******* disgusting.
stickyface 17
What will you do in winter? Shower outside until you get your own place to mess up, dumbass.
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Comments (8)
duchessdoughnut 2
How about you don’t shit in the shower? That’s ******* disgusting.
juggalo2 22
I'm going to call BS on the whole idea that anyone ever does this. But if it was true, I would agree with your father. Maybe just don't shower for 3 months? That would still be less disgusting.
stickyface 17
What will you do in winter? Shower outside until you get your own place to mess up, dumbass.
Hangryko 32
That is ****ing disgusting. You have no consideration for others. I'll bet you leave skidmarks and pee on the toilet seat, too.
purplekanc 24
Your username speaks for itself
FluffythePink 23
Jesus Christ you ******* ANIMAL. You are disgusting. Worse than disgusting, you are utterly disrespectful to others and a festering wank stain on society. I hope you have a freezing winter where you are so you can contemplate the consequences of your behaviour in full.
JasonThorn 23
I actually had to look it up because I didn't know what it was before I read the comments. You introduced me to this concept. I hope you get frostbite of the penis.
BloodyButUnbowed 32
What will you do in winter? You will be cold, as you deserve. Good for your dad.