Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
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Top comments
hahachun 4
Yes Santa?!! Hahahahaha
ollie179 21
No presents for him.
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Comments (166)
FYLDeep 26
What and "Yes Santa" isn't kinky? You role-players expect way too much.
danielfaa 5
Oh yeah. I really understand why you hate your life. You have got a boyfriend. and. he. told. a. joke. wow. your life is in ruins now, I can see that.
sexaaydino 14
Haha isn't that kinky :)
tmrwisanotherday 1
Hello neighbor...
DGoozy 2
Sexaaydino...hmm wasuup? :)
brianjman14 23
You guys are creepers.
tmrwisanotherday 1
What did you want him to say , yes mummy!!
RaquelW 7
Immaturity--so arousing ;)
Torva_fml 16
Immaturity? It's called comedy, a sense of humor, and being funny!
boner_till_icoll 0
your bf i jst ****** funny
Jimboom 12
Well.. he has been a bad boy so he obviously wants you to shove a lump of coal up his stocking. ;-)
leadman1989 16
You should have made him look like Rudolph. ;p
gracetaylor 0
hahahaaha
thisisafunnyname 12
hahahahahahahahaha. I beat you
johannawho 14
hahahaha ..CCOMBO BBREAKERR.
Argumental_Rhino 8
Nice name. And lol at your boyfriend atleast he's funny.