Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML
Today, I was sitting on my 70 year-old grandmother's bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen, it started vibrating. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
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Top comments
3mi1y_ 16
I love gullible people :')
perdix 31
Looks like Gran is getting ready for a very special kind of facial. Is Gramps still around or is Gran going have to snag a bloke at the local pub to provide the other fluid of this "treatment?"
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Comments (119)
jose1760 1
50- Oh did I offend your boyfriend that's very manly of you to stick up for him! oh no pun intended! lol take him to get a hair cut please
RedPillSucks 33
Gran Gran was a chemist back in the day. She knows that the lube combined with some preparation H on the face will take years off and tighten up that wrinkly skin. It'll tighten up that vag too, so she'll be "Like a virgin". That's why they call it "Very Cherry".
sunshineebabyy 0
haha, well isn't that funny. should be interesting trying to get that back.
Oumaima101 0
haha Maybe u should've told her!!!! And save ur self from this embarressement!!!:)
boopityboppity 11
Oh yeah, jose1760? Well, yo' momma so fat she's in three time zones. Sorry, but I figured any attempt at one of my typical comments wouldn't be at your intellectual level, so I wrote something that might be within your mental grasp. I hope you get a paper cut while making lemonade. Cheers.
tiffyxmac 0
haha that's ****** up.
x3herox3 0
Shuld jus say it's for ur use only.
boopityboppity 11
You should just say what you mean, instead of requiring the reader to have a Rosetta Stone for "stupid."
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
#9 - win! lmao!
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
Let me add that you should make sure any special applicator or "toyz" u may have stay out of "Gran's reach" as well... or maybe she found those first and u just don't know it yet!!
CrzyBitz 0
classic. . .