Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML
Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML
Today, I was sitting on my 70 year-old grandmother's bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen, it started vibrating. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
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Top comments
3mi1y_ 16
I love gullible people :')
perdix 31
Looks like Gran is getting ready for a very special kind of facial. Is Gramps still around or is Gran going have to snag a bloke at the local pub to provide the other fluid of this "treatment?"
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Comments (119)
harviss12 8
rofl
wriptidez 0
yup a small bag to hide it in
DerFuhrer33 0
I think British girls are hot. I find their accent really sexy! Btw what do british girls think about us yanks?
Niaa_fml 0
Seriously...?
monnanon 14
what accent? there is not a British accent, Do you mean English? Scottish? Welsh? or Irish? I wouldnt excpect anyone who is not British to know the different county accents but the Country accents are so different that you should at least know they are different.
letsgetouttahere 3
I agree. People really should know that there is no 'British' accent. I think usually they mean an English accent. But Welsh Scottish and Irish accents are so different! It really gets on my nerves. And #100 I like SOME american accents. But seriously? I don't see why 'yanks' love English accents so much.
KathrynDalton 0
I totally agree with you! And its not just the countries, the Northern English accent is completely different tothe Southern English accent! According to pretty much every America I know, all "British" people are English and either posh or cockney... Maybe its just because I am English, but I would have thought it would be easy to differenciate between Geordie and Irish, or Scouse and Scottish or something, instead of making a HUGE generalisation and calling us all "British"...
jjrebel26 0
just answer the damn question you crazy limey bitch
0___0 9
I have love for all British accents though! I actually like almost all accents.. so I usually don't specify where exactly when I say that I like British accents. And I have had people from other countries think that all Americans had a southern accent before, so it goes both ways.
purplesucker 0
Why didn't you just tell her you need that for your tampons? A lot of women actually have a lot of difficulty putting tampons in, so they need to lubricate them first. You should've just told her that. As for the flavour part, well, you could've just told her that you were in a hurry and you just grabbed the first one you saw.
tralalafifa 0
hahahha haaa.
KattAlex 4
#103, Some people in America refer to an English accent as a British accent for some reason. Maybe, because a lot of people thing of England first when thinking of Britian.
laurajane33 0
yes granny! :D
GamerGoddess 0
$50 says she took it to throw it away, because she knew EXACTLY what it was, and she didn't want her grandson doing dirty things
5t3ff1k4h 47
I don't really think a grandson would be using a face mask... and since there is no gender listed on the FML itself, I'm sure OP is a girl.
Britt9797 0
what is it?
1basketball1 0
Wow