Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said, "I love you." I flipped out saying, "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you too!" He responded with, "What?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
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Top comments
patrikus13 0
lmao, just tell him it's a good thing he loves his dog, cuz that's the only place he'll be getting any for a while
sparda4355 0
You two will inevitably break up... his dog will still be there by his side while you're talking crap about him to all of your friends (and probably most of his friends) and posting blogs about him on myspace ridiculing the size of his penis and sexual skills! Dog 1 You 0
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Comments (124)
theanonimouse 0
i tell my dog i love her all the time... i don't know why people are freaking about that part of the story. :/
Nitros_fml 0
"I was talking to your dog too" Simple...
sourpickle 0
Don't date a guy who loves his dog more than u.
zipykido 0
The OP clearly needs more comedy writers around.
Jaywin 3
Dogs are just plain awesome. I admit I would love my dog more than I would a girl I've dated for less than a year. Why? Well I've had my dog for 15 years and we already have made lifelong memories and this new girl isn't going to change that. Love me, love my dog. But I do feel for your OP he could've at least ended his sentence with an "but I do love you too". Assuming of course he really does and you guys have been dating for a while...
TryToBeKind 0
I hope you told him you took it back and promptly dumped his sorry ass. I feel bad you wasted your life with him
Always_And_Never 0
Dun feel bad, if he's a good guy i am sure he thinks you already know that he loves you, and if not, you'll find a better guy. but next time he acts like an idiot just shrug it off all guys are naturally idiots.
bearclare04 0
i think you mean "i love you too"
PierreChaqueJour 0
Your guy must have such poor social skills that he didn't just play it off like he had said it to you, since you obviously were appreciating it.
XcrazyXgirlX 0
hahaha my mom has done that to me countless times lol