Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML
Today, I was woken up ungodly early by my dad, who didn't give me even 5 seconds to wake up before barking orders at me to clean the septic tank screen, because it was clogged, but he needed to go to work. Conveniently, he'd already had a shower and "didn't notice" the gurgling toilet until he was done. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Freezing cold sludge? He obviously had that in the freezer waiting for you and had been planning this for a long time. This will require revenge of epic proportions. If your revenge doesn't involve prostitutes, the mafia, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I'll be very disappointed.
Jeremy_162 6
Your dad is evil.
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Comments (190)
roseybeez 1
Sounds like someone's been a bad boy....;)
kingchelsea 3
Omg your picture. I haven't seen that pic in forever
roseybeez 1
Isn't it awesome:) haha I just wonder what kind of kid agrees to take a picture in that shirt
tennisrapper1 14
Next time, flush the toilet while he's in the shower!
rubberduckie94 13
Sounds terrible, but unless he was physically restraining you why not turn the water back on yourself?
KoSEIN 1
They might have had to do repairs, like at my place today. Same thing, water off for 2 hours so they could fix some leaks in the pipes of the townhouse complex. Although my mum wouldn't throw sludge at me, because she knows I'd get her back worse!
Vball6 19
Why wasn't your bathroom door locked? Ydi....
False_Stupidity 42
Locks on bathroom doors are generally not secure and can be undone with a screwdriver. They only stop people accidentally walking in.
CookieGirl4ever 13
My bathroom doesn't have a lock... :(
maybeBabe 8
Payback time! "Karma is a bitch!"
ezelisko 1
hot sauce in his underwear... nuff said.
wildrose13 11
define cold sludge
sourspraykay 8
cold sludge: [noun] Sludge that is cold.
KaelaKhaotic 5
What is this sludge you speak of?
ididntdoit1980 8
Did you do something to deserve this?
jonriise18 3
Where does one find this "cold sludge"? Just keep that lying around the house?