Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML
Today, I was woken up ungodly early by my dad, who didn't give me even 5 seconds to wake up before barking orders at me to clean the septic tank screen, because it was clogged, but he needed to go to work. Conveniently, he'd already had a shower and "didn't notice" the gurgling toilet until he was done. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Freezing cold sludge? He obviously had that in the freezer waiting for you and had been planning this for a long time. This will require revenge of epic proportions. If your revenge doesn't involve prostitutes, the mafia, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I'll be very disappointed.
Jeremy_162 6
Your dad is evil.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
shadow15433 0
lmfao ur dads the best
rebelliousshroom 12
You had me going there, but leaving you there for two hours? Seriously? Unless this is fake, you must have done something really terrible to piss him off... If not, move out, he's unstable at best.
Miaoudeminou 7
Meg?
marisadc79 0
Seriously dad or not I'd have kicked his ass
yourmofo 6
I would of smeared a piece of crap in the defroster vents in his car on a sunny day, and put a little under the door handle too.
skutch04 1
Theres a special place in hell for people who ruin nice,warm showers.
dobbyisfreeeeeee 10
Wtf?
PhilipNotMacedon 3
That's when you open the shower door, punch your dad in the face and turn the water back on yourself.
MeleMallory 0
You couldn't turn on the water yourself?
phishin4dmb 7
We have children so we can mess with them :)