Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML
Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML
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Top comments
dblogic 19
I'd be tempted to testify truthfully and let them throw her in the slammer...or slap with a huge fine...or whatever penalty she's up against. Your husband shouldn't be blackmailing you with your own marriage. WOW.
crazy_bananas 31
What the ****. Don't listen to your idiot of a husband. If you get caught lying then you face serious prison time and a hefty fine, as lying in court is a federal offense.
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Comments (70)
shanson 22
Yeah sounds like that divorce might be a good idea anyway
DJRy 13
Is he worth it if he's going to threaten you like that? **** that guy, testify. I:
chibiachika 13
Try to schedule your divorce hearing on the same day your MiL's trial is. Less trips to the courthouse! Your husband is a scumbag, I'd drop him.
CountZiggenpuss 7
Tell the truth and enjoy being single. You don't need either of these douchenozzles in your life.
Namenlos_fml 20
Tell the truth. If your husband is taking that attitude, he's not on your side. If you lie under oath, you're not on the government's side, meaning you now have two entities that can totally screw you. That's why you need to tell the truth. Don't side with someone who isn't on your side.
TheLostCauseFML 40
Better off without that negativity in your life. Never lie under oath. A loving husband wouldn't ask you to lie, and from the sounds of it.. the Mother in-law has held quite a bit of animosity towards you for some time now. Do what's right. And YOU will solve three problems at once. Three birds, with one stone, rather than just two. No need to play Marriage Games. Goodluck, OP! May the odds be ever in your favor!
jvanevery 19
nope perjury can get you 5 years in jail
JustNatalie 8
I don't know what "subpoenaed" is, but sounds like a shitty husband. Stand your ground! He shouldn't use your marriage against you! That is morally wrong.
logicalliv 9
So can you. Ditch both of their felonious asses. If you're feeling really mean, you could probably bring charges against your husband for his threats.