Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML
Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML
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Top comments
dblogic 19
I'd be tempted to testify truthfully and let them throw her in the slammer...or slap with a huge fine...or whatever penalty she's up against. Your husband shouldn't be blackmailing you with your own marriage. WOW.
crazy_bananas 31
What the ****. Don't listen to your idiot of a husband. If you get caught lying then you face serious prison time and a hefty fine, as lying in court is a federal offense.
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Comments (70)
loserman67 36
Sorry you're going through this OP. But you've gotten some good advice in here. Be honest no matter what the cost. Will your Bitch-in-law or asshole husband defend you if you get nailed for perjury? I think not... Tell the truth and dump those jerks if it comes to that. Your clean conscience will feel great! Good luck!!
hardattack62 5
I'd leave immediately and testify the truth.
mariri9206 32
You should tell your husband you're not going to lie under oath and break the law. If he really loves and cares about you, he'll be fine with it. If he's not fine with it and divorces you anyway, you're better off without him.
dharmaint 15
How would you like your divorce papers? Warm or cold
MummyRavyne 14
The marriage was over as soon as those words came out his mouth. He might be going through alot because of what's happening with his mom but there's no excuse, he can't put you in a position like that. Tell the truth or it might come back and bite you in the ass.
lee47_fml 6
Go into court, take oath to tell truth... then turn to the Judge, and say excuse me your honor, I am afraid to testify in this matter because my husband has threatened me with divorce if I don't help her, and I refuse to lie or to be threatened....but there are times that if one side is subpoenaed the other side can't take initiative and question them...but the side issuing the subpoena has no intention of calling them, and doesn't .
Moerighan 23
I hope you said bye.
waleedma 18
Get rid of two problems at once?? Damn right but for you!
Bearsmomma 30
If only I had this problem...
LynUn 3
If your husbands willing to risk you going to jail.... maybe YOU should be rethinking your relationship. What an ass.