Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML
Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML
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Top comments
dblogic 19
I'd be tempted to testify truthfully and let them throw her in the slammer...or slap with a huge fine...or whatever penalty she's up against. Your husband shouldn't be blackmailing you with your own marriage. WOW.
crazy_bananas 31
What the ****. Don't listen to your idiot of a husband. If you get caught lying then you face serious prison time and a hefty fine, as lying in court is a federal offense.
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Comments (70)
EoinDonnelly 13
Do one better leave him and testify against her!
Chloe555_fml 27
So can you
mariri9206 32
OP can get rid of three problems in one go - she can get rid of a bad husband, she can get rid of a bad mother-in-law, and she can get rid being forced to perjure herself, a.k.a. all good things for OP. However, OP's MIL needs to get her brain/logic checked cause she definitely would not be able to "get rid of two problems in one day." She can get rid of one problem - either OP perjures herself and MIL has no legal problems or OP refuses to lie under oath which results in the MIL in still having legal problems but she no longer has to deal with the daughter-in-law she obviously doesn't like.
Chloe555_fml 27
I worded mine badly, yours works so much better.
mariri9206 32
Thank you. I think you worded yours great, actually. :)
TheAprilWitch 22
#42 I'm guessing her mother in law is confident she will get away with whatever she did after the trial either way.
Zebediabolical 45
Make sure you mention that in court when you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
AznLuvsMusic 26
I don't typically jump on the "dump them" train, but if he's truly serious about giving you an ultimatum as awful as that, then I'd seriously reconsider the marriage.
Mysterybounty 6
The fact your husband is putting you in that position makes him a horrible person. You are better off without him, tell him he needs to grow a pair and you are not lying for his mommy.
renegadekid2002 14
If you testify against his mother and divorce him go for everything he's got and use what he told you to do against him
chosha_fml 27
If my husband tried to blackmail me like that, the marriage would be over anyway.
my2centsworth 15
Actually, OP, you can get rid of two problems in one day if you testify truthfully....
Bearsmomma 30
That's EXACTLY what she meant by "I can get rid of 2 problems in one day"
Dannie1308 11
that's what her MIL said, not her.
PikarooArtist 17
OP, screw your husband and start filing because lying under oath is a federal offense! Just be honest with the court and be rid of those two assholes!
AverageAvarice 23
You'll be better off telling the truth OP.