Today, I was subpoenaed on behalf of my mother-in-law. My husband said if I didn't defend her and consequently lie under oath, our marriage is over. She said, "I can get rid of two problems in one day!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law tried to blackmail me out of the wedding with photographs of me with another man. Her son and I met on a swingers website and we both have multiple sexual partners, so we had to tell her the truth. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe it. FML
Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML
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Top comments
dblogic 19
I'd be tempted to testify truthfully and let them throw her in the slammer...or slap with a huge fine...or whatever penalty she's up against. Your husband shouldn't be blackmailing you with your own marriage. WOW.
crazy_bananas 31
What the ****. Don't listen to your idiot of a husband. If you get caught lying then you face serious prison time and a hefty fine, as lying in court is a federal offense.
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Comments (70)
dblogic 19
I'd be tempted to testify truthfully and let them throw her in the slammer...or slap with a huge fine...or whatever penalty she's up against. Your husband shouldn't be blackmailing you with your own marriage. WOW.
usnwife 18
Be tempted? No question about it, Id be truthful, and be filing divorce papers myself!
PenguinsLaugh 24
Tempted? I don't know how you could be considering lying under oath. Sounds like your MiL is a piece of work, anyways. Tell the truth and work it out with your husband after.
dblogic 19
Yes, folks, I said tempted. One of the funny things about language is that many words in English can have several expressions. The standard meaning of tempted would be: "entice or attempt to entice (someone) to do or acquire something that they find attractive but know to be wrong or not beneficial". Another meaning is: "have an urge or inclination to do something". So please, relax people. If it makes you feel better: I'd be inclined to or have the urge to testify truthfully & throw the bitch in the slammer.
crazy_bananas 31
What the ****. Don't listen to your idiot of a husband. If you get caught lying then you face serious prison time and a hefty fine, as lying in court is a federal offense.
peckerbeak22 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Tell that Hillary Clinton...
Colon_Man 17
It's too bad we can't continue voting once a reply gets too many down votes. I'd help you climb out of your deficit, peckerbeak.
chirstinap325 23
Might of missed something, but if you don't lie you get divorced (win if ya ask me) and she goes to the slammer, if you do lie then you don't get divorced and she's potentially free, so sounds like either way it's a win-lose situation to her.. Either she's free and you're her daughter and law or she's in jail and you aren't. Idk lol
chirstinap325 23
Ahhhh thank you went completely over my head
DMo42 14
I was thinking the same thing. I read it again to make sure.
TomNap 5
Yeah I completely missed that as well.
coolmike699 26
**** your husband.
cranberries_fml 17
No that would be positive reinforcement
Elric333 6
Doesn't sound like either is worth a crap...tell the truth, it will set you free (of a crap in-law & spouse) !
socialproduct 19
I always thought you couldn't be required to testify against your family for this exact reason. You're forced to choose between betraying your relatives or committing perjury. Maybe that doesn't extend to in-laws?
Misguided_Wrath 12
You cant be compelled to testify against your spouse, you can volunteer to. But as far as the rest of your family, they can absolutely compell you.
mariri9206 32
It's Spousal Privilege, not Familial Privilege. :)
chirstinap325 23
Divorce that scum though. Don't like to jump to that but that's redic. FML community will throw ya a party. :)
janfleury 19
Any time in a marriage that type of ultimation is delivered is a bad thing. Talk to him without mother-in-law around and see if that is his real stand. Ask him if he would really want you to lie under oath and possibly get in trouble for purjury. If his answer is yes then you have some thinking to do. Do you lie (comprising your morals, possibly getting into serious trouble and giving into blackmail) or do you tell the truth and loose your marriage. I personally think that a good husband/marriage would not of placed you in that position to start with. My husband would never ask me to do something like that.
Zarnaik 5
You shouldn't be with him then
Geckosrock99 33
Tell the truth, OP. You could also tell them that your husband tried blackmailing you into lying under oath. Teach them they can't do whatever they want and get away with it.